Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a fence when you've got a great neighbor next door? They're like a real-life superhero in the world of lawn disputes and noisy pets! 🦸‍♂️🏡 #NeighborGoals"

bad, door, great, humor, neighbor, neighbors, next, people

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

2 months ago

caffeine, charge, coffee, humor, i, manslaughter, sarcasm, stress, time
I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

2 months ago

degree, humor, i, irony, only, preference, warm, weather
I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

2 months ago

celebrity, humor, i, jet, private, private jet, slow, speed, swift, taylor, Taylor Swift, think, travel, understand, wordplay
Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

5 months ago

bat, bats, catharsis, feel, gothic, humor, imagination, manor, send, Transylvania, vampire
Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, commuting, conversation, humor, i, me, moment, next, nothing, person, sarcasm, saying, thanks, train, turning
“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

2 months ago

actions, consequences, epidemic, humor, issues, just, karma, loneliness, male, male loneliness, social, social issues

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Before I die, I’m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say “thanks for coming” and other assorted messages of appreciation.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

91 shares on X this month:

Women only want one thing and it is to walk down a dimly-lit cobblestone street with the devil.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

64 shares on Discord this month:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

65 shares on X this month:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got engaged, broke up, married other people, had children, reunited, got married, broke up again, and I’ve been single that whole time.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Making waves on Facebook:

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Just shared via TikTok:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Seen just now on X:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Freshly posted on X:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Don’t play with the feelings I barely have.

Spotted on Instagram:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

I like warm weather but only to a certain degree.

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨