Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends the meeting early.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Can we normalize arguing with little kids? They’re so rude.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

I call my smoke detector Gordon Ramsay, because every time I cook it screams at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Trending via YouTube:

Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

Spotted on YouTube:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Seen just now on X:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Trending via Slack:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I’m not stubborn, my way is just better than yours.

Shared recently on Discord:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Making waves on Threads:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a fence when you've got a great neighbor next door? They're like a real-life superhero in the world of lawn disputes and noisy pets! 🦸‍♂️🏡 #NeighborGoals"

, , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I love my bed so much, what a place.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Kids are like pancakes. The first one is always a bit strange.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Just shared via WeChat:

Santa saw your Facebook posts. This year you’re getting a dictionary.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

Shared recently on Instagram:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Just shared via Discord:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Making waves on Telegram:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Trending via Messenger:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴