Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.
  • Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.
  • Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.
  • People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.
  • Sometimes I feel useless but then I remember I breath out carbon dioxide for plants.
  • Divorce is so weird. Why do I have an ex-aunt?