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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop so we can all go back to normal, just like how the internet completely disappeared after the dot-com bubble popped.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,954

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Going viral on YouTube:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Shared recently on Facebook:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

Shared recently on Discord:

Sometimes you just gotta say LOL and move on.

Just shared via Threads:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Just shared via WeChat:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Breaking via Snapchat:

White, black, yellow, brown, Democrat, Republican, man, woman, straight, gay, transgender, Jew, Christian, Muslim, young and old — you will all taste the same to the zombies.

Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.

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Not many quicksand-related deaths since the 1970s. Thank God the authorities got that nightmare under control.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like quicksand finally got a grip on itself and thought, "Maybe drowning people isn't the way to go." 😅🌪️ Thank goodness for those authorities – saving lives and boots one step at a time! 🙌🏻👢 #RIPQuicksandVictims

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Discord this month:

“What’s your music taste?” Don’t know, man. If it sounds good, I’m adding it to the playlist.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

I can’t take people who pronounce “gnocchi” correctly seriously.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

50 shares on YouTube this month:

Parents be like “Boys are easier,” and then their daughter has to save the family from ruin.

81 shares on Threads this month:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

84 shares on Slack this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

42 shares on X this month:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

My account is fake, I’m actually your probation officer.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Asian girl at tech company: Wow, everyone here is so friendly.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It seems that after checking my bank account, I need to turn to a life of crime.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,864

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’ve learned a lot over the years, but the best advice I can ever give someone is never buy a used harmonica.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Nobody cleans better than someone who’s pissed off.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’m either freezing, peeing, or starving.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I would rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Oh right, like you’ve never let your kids stay lost in a corn maze just a little longer.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Trending via X:

I think the bowl of ice cream I ate earlier gave me a stomach ache, so I ate a another bowl to make sure.

Seen just now on YouTube:

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Spotted on X:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Going viral on Reddit:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Dogs will go through amazing effort to get a better view of your plate.

Live now on Snapchat:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

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