Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Just got my test results back and my cholesterol level is a cheese bratwurst.
  • One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.
  • Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.
  • Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.
  • Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.
  • You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.