Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?
  • Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.
  • If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.
  • My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.
  • If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.
  • I have a great poker face because I have no idea what’s going on.