Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!
  • Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.
  • People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.
  • I could tell my beard needed a trim when I started seeing some of the pictures my kids were drawing of me.
  • A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.
  • You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.