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Commentary:
"Ah, the glamorous life of a chauffeur to mini-humans and four-legged furballs! 🚖👶🐶 Who needs a limo when you've got a minivan full of chaos and cuteness? 🚗😂 #ParentingLife"

daily, daily life, dog, dogs, family, humor, kids, life, parenting, taxi, today, transportation

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

3 months ago

adult, comparison, fruit, humor, identity, metaphor, same, tomato
You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

2 months ago

babe, conversation, date, expectations, humor, me, okay, promise, relationship
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

2 months ago

childhood, family, found, humor, joke, kid, moved, nostalgia, parent, parents
Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

1 month ago

ask, conversation, forget, humor, joke, journey, long story, narrative, saying, short, short story, start, story, storytelling, take, unexpected
I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

2 months ago

cake, craving, dessert, food, fork, humor, i, joke, never, sweet, sweet tooth, tooth, want
My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

1 month ago

alone, awkwardness, blair, Blair Witch, corner, dinner, family, humor, role, Thanksgiving, witch

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re not going to believe this, but I was doing really well, and then your email found me.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Ever since I was a little kid, I knew that I wanted to be late for work.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

20 shares on Pinterest this month:

How can people lift weights? My arms get tired just by putting my hair up in a ponytail.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

I think you misunderstood – when I said, “Let me look into it,” that meant, “I don’t know exactly how to tell you no just yet.”

32 shares on X this month:

You’d think a philharmonic orchestra would have at least one harmonica, but nope.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Brains are funny. I can remember every word to a song I haven’t heard in 20 years, but I’ve got no clue what my email password is.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I like riding by myself so I can replay 1 song 111 times with no complaints.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

The first person to see a peacock spread his tail probably had a heart attack.

Breaking via Reddit:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Making waves on Slack:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Breaking via Instagram:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

Just landed via Threads:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Just landed via Facebook:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Just landed via Telegram:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Forget about “long story short”… I’m gonna start saying “short story long,” and take you on a journey you didn’t ask for.

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

My role at Thanksgiving dinner is to Blair Witch it alone in the corner.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨