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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all: I watched Rebel Moon 2 and the Netflix app worked well. Showed me the entire movie. In color.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

23 minutes ago

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Reported on WeChat:

My brain says “Let’s do something exciting today” but my body says “Don’t listen to that fool.”

Freshly posted on Discord:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Just shared via TikTok:

If I was in Jaws, instead of wishing for a bigger boat, I probably would have just asked for a smaller shark.

Trending via X:

They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

Live now on Twitch:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Shared recently on Discord:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Trending via Telegram:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Live now on TikTok:

I’m not talking to my husband and I don’t think he even knows it.

Shared recently on X:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

6 months ago

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the lengths kids will go to for a dare! 🙈 Looks like your son has become a walking advertisement for Axe now – talk about fresh breath and a strong scent game! Maybe he's onto a new trend in dental hygiene? Don't forget to sniff-test the next time he opens his mouth! 😂

Axe, dare, deodorant, humor, mishap, mouth, parenting, scent, son

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

805 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,967

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,967

23 minutes ago

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Drilling for oil is well boring.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

If I was an outlaw in the Wild West, my face would be on unwanted posters.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday again and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Not now darling, mummy’s influencing on the www.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I’m only dead on the outside.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Just shared via Discord:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Going viral on Slack:

Smash Mouth was so right, the years really do start coming and they don’t stop coming.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Trending via Twitch:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Apparently “Spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

Seen just now on Messenger:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

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