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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m so sick of these little 30-minute weekends.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Babies sighing is so funny to me. My dear, the time to sigh has not come.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

After smartphones, we never got pictures of Bigfoot anymore. You know why? That’s right: 5G killed all the Bigfoots.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Just landed via TikTok:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Trending via Reddit:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Just landed via Discord:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Making waves on Telegram:

Maybe the elephant doesn’t want to be addressed, and we should respect their boundaries.

Freshly posted on X:

Maybe your baby is crying because it doesn’t like you.

On a dare, my son sprayed deodorant in his mouth. Now he speaks with an Axe scent.

1 month ago

Funny quote about a boy humorously joking about smelling like Axe after a dare.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🤣 Oh, the lengths kids will go to for a dare! 🙈 Looks like your son has become a walking advertisement for Axe now – talk about fresh breath and a strong scent game! Maybe he's onto a new trend in dental hygiene? Don't forget to sniff-test the next time he opens his mouth! 😂

Axe, dare, deodorant, humor, mishap, mouth, parenting, scent, son

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Threads this month:

I have never seen a sad person sliding down a water slide.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I liked you too much.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m sorry if I seem weird, it’s because I am.

64 shares on Messenger this month:

Love it when my brain is like, “You forgot something,” and then refuses to elaborate.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve already sent Santa a short letter this week to say hello. Not that he thinks I only get in touch if I want something.

61 shares on Slack this month:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

80 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

63 shares on WeChat this month:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

66 shares on Discord this month:

Is it just me, or does anybody else get excited about cancelling plans?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The clitoris has 8,000 nerves, if you gonna get on my nerves, get on one of those.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuah Kill a Hawkingbird

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish the homes of all my friends were connected to mine by secret underground tunnels.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Your reply guys are like Pooh Bear. They wear no pants and are relentlessly trying to get in your honeypot.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,299

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Notice how you don’t catch me in public, it’s because i’m not real.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks and apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

My husband pissed me off so I wrapped his remote and put it under the tree.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Hannibal Lecter didn’t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

The dumbest thing about YouTube ads is how they seem to think that I’m a moron.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Okay, that’s enough todaying for today.

Spotted on Discord:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Making waves on Discord:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Freshly posted on Discord:

Tired of being the responsible adult. When can I become the irresponsible adult?

Going viral on Twitch:

Our parents are going to be shocked when they find out that most of us are serious about not getting married.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

Going viral on Instagram:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

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