You’ll never see Asian parents kissing, hugging, or in any form of romance, but boom, 5 children. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Deleted all my dating apps. I’m ready to find the love of my life in World of Warcraft. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
My favorite part of the Bible is where God says, put a cross emoji in your bio and cheer on the dehumanization of minorities. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Twitter will always be your best app if you’re single, funny, or just depressed. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Being a reader means voluntarily signing up for fictional heartbreak, and then recommending the pain to others. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Unfortunately, forcing myself to take out the garbage, wash dishes, do a load of laundry, and vacuum has improved my mental health tenfold. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Becoming a DJ, but only because I like to impose my will and preferences upon the masses. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Having a job is insane because they give you actual money in exchange for pressing the buttons. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Excited for my husband to get back from his trip, so I can sit him down for a little presentation of all the internet videos I saved for him to watch. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
Boyfriends sound cool and all, but unfortunately, I enjoy not talking for days at a time. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1. Posted onFeb 3, 2026
If Britain is going to be invaded, can it at least be by the Romans? We desperately need the roads resurfacing. Posted onFeb 3, 2026