Commentary:
"Understanding sarcasm is like a superpower: some have it, while for others it remains a mystery 🦸♂️🔮 #SarcasmDetective"
Page 2 of 785
Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.
Commentary:
"Looks like the camera just can't handle all this stunning beauty! 📸😂 Who knew the culprit behind those unflattering photos was right under your nose… quite literally! 😜 #BlamingTheFace"
I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.
Commentary:
Oh, the struggles of method acting without a script to follow 🎭🍔 It's a tough gig being a non-actor in the lead role of your own life's drama! Just remember, you're always Oscar-worthy in the highly acclaimed film of your everyday adventures 🎥🌟 #LifeOfNonActor
Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.
Commentary:
"No worries, we all have our 'plastic brain' moments! 😄 Just make sure to recycle any stray thoughts properly! 🧠🔄"
My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.
Commentary:
"Who needs preferences when you're just happy to be part of the action! 😄💫 Embracing versatility in the bedroom like a true team player! 🛏️👀 #JustHappyToBeHere"
So many mistakes to make, so little time.
Commentary:
"Life's too short to make all the mistakes, but hey, at least we can try! 🤷♂️⏳ Learn, laugh, and make new mistakes – it's all part of the fun-sized chaos we call existence!"
Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.
Commentary:
"Looks like the Pharaohs were just trying to slide into the afterlife in style! 🌊😎 Who knew that crossing their hands was the ancient Egyptian version of getting ready for a day at the water park? 💦🎢 Just imagine, forever riding those infinite water slides… sounds like a pretty 'pharaohtastic' eternity! 😂"
What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.
Commentary:
Can you imagine the stunned look on your face if your dog suddenly drops this bombshell on you? 🐶😯 Just imagine the endless possibilities and conspiracy theories that would follow such a declaration! 🤔🐾 And to top it off, the dog's vow of silence afterward would only add to the mystery and hilarity of the situation! 🤫😂
That one British friend that’s too bloke.
Commentary:
"Oh, that one British mate who's just a tad *too* bloke, eh? Probably spikes his tea with extra testosterone 🇬🇧💪 #BlokeGoals"
Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.
Commentary:
Oh, the frustration of wanting a snack but being thwarted by a stubborn jar lid! 🤬🥜 It's like the universe is trying to teach us patience… or test our strength by making us wrestle with inanimate objects. 💪🏼🤣 Remember, when life gives you a tightly sealed jar, just take a deep breath and try again – or maybe invest in a more jar-friendly workout routine! 😉 #StruggleIsReal #JarLife