Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't join you tonight – my mortgage and I are having a cozy Netflix date. Gotta make sure my money feels appreciated! 💰🏠 #HomebodyLife"

financial, getting, home, humor, me, money, mortgage, paid, responsibility, staying, staying in, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

0

1 month ago

dishwasher, everyday, everyday life, gift, humor, kitchen, life, microwave, moment, mug, safety, sarcasm, silence
The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

0

1 month ago

burn, cooking, day, draining, face, food, humor, i, kitchen, me, pasta, relaxation, spa, spa day, steam, steam burn
The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

0

2 months ago

being, double, double vision, drunk, food, humor, joke, just, pizza, realization, realize, seeing, slice, vision, worst
My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

0

2 months ago

bottom, humor, life, life struggles, perspective, refreshing, resilience, rock, rock bottom, struggles
Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

0

5 months ago

break, cheese, focus, food, humor, relaxation, taking, thinking, time, time off
I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

0

2 months ago

being, bugs, cold, hot, humor, i, irony, just, love, outdoor, outside, too, weather, wet, windy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Facebook this month:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My love language is deader than Latin.

93 shares on Discord this month:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

15 shares on X this month:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

The brand name Oral B is so funny to me. WTF does the B stand for?

12 shares on Discord this month:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

65 shares on X this month:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

“Kiss From a Rose” makes you think Batman Forever is the most romantic movie ever made.

86 shares on Slack this month:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

12 shares on YouTube this month:

Where do I see myself in 5 years? I don’t even know where I am right now.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has shared:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I’m just a girl looking for another snack.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’m old enough to remember when the hole in the ozone layer killed us all off.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I don’t procrastinate, I delegate to my future self.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Spotted on YouTube:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Just shared via Discord:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Breaking via Twitch:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Just landed via Messenger:

If you wait until the last minute to do something, it only takes a minute to do it.

Just shared via Slack:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Shared recently on Slack:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Getting my next boyfriend a flip phone. He doesn’t need anything more.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨