Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't join you tonight – my mortgage and I are having a cozy Netflix date. Gotta make sure my money feels appreciated! 💰🏠 #HomebodyLife"

financial, getting, home, humor, me, money, mortgage, paid, responsibility, staying, staying in, worth

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

0

2 months ago

day, deserve, ending, enemy, humor, me, meeting, meetings, office, relationships, sarcastic, work
Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

0

2 months ago

ant, ants, beauty, beauty brand, brand, cream, face, face cream, humor, product, size, skincare
I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

0

3 days ago

again, attention, beginning, ending, humor, i, me, morning, new, new beginning, pay, perspective, resilience, times, world, world ending
Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

0

2 months ago

court, entertainment, humor, lawyer, legal, performance, song, songs, walk-up, walk-up song, wrestler
The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

0

2 months ago

autobiography, going, growth, humor, ID, irony, learn, learning, lessons, life, life lessons, mistakes, personal, personal growth, self-reflection, think, title, titles
Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

0

2 months ago

attempt, awkward, challenge, chopsticks, comedy, eating, food, humor, just, me, media, OnlyFans, social, social media, trying, videos

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Slack this month:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

73 shares on Slack this month:

All kids are born with a sixth sense that lets them know the absolute worst time to ask for something.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m only grumpy when I’m awake.

54 shares on Slack this month:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

33 shares on Pinterest this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Just flipped my mattress, should have woken up my wife first.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m stuck between “I need to save money” and “You only live once.”

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Watching a movie and subtitles not syncing is low-key pain.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Breaking via WeChat:

I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Live now on Twitch:

Running to the boarding gate is my favorite workout.

Shared recently on TikTok:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Shared recently on WeChat:

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Live now on TikTok:

Stop expecting people to be as cool as you, it’s a recipe for disappointment.

Trending via Threads:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Spotted on X:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to schedule naps, but now they’re little surprise parties my body throws at all hours of the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

I don’t pay attention to the world ending. It has ended for me many times, and began again in the morning.

Lawyers should get walk-up songs in court like how wrestlers do.

The title of my autobiography is going to be ‘You’d Think I’d Learn By Now, But Nope.’

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨