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Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't join you tonight – my mortgage and I are having a cozy Netflix date. Gotta make sure my money feels appreciated! 💰🏠 #HomebodyLife"

financial, getting, home, humor, me, money, mortgage, paid, responsibility, staying, staying in, worth

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23 shares on Discord this month:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

32 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

93 shares on X this month:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

63 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Checking my iced coffee rewards points like it’s my 401k.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

94 shares on Discord this month:

I think God was high when he made me.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

The cinema vibe is my favorite, you literally forget about the world for like 2-3 hours.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

If only men knew the power “I made reservations, I’ll pick you up at 7” held instead of “I don’t know, whatever you wanna do.”

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Saying “This reminds me of my early work,” as I walk past a Rothko.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Sure, I could keep my thoughts to myself but I can’t see “Likes” in my journal.

Just shared via X:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Breaking via Discord:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Making waves on Discord:

I could win awards for having a bad memory. In fact, I probably did. How would I know.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Live now on WeChat:

I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

When I like a song, I repeat it until the artist comes out and ask for water.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Beer is like the color black: it goes with everything.

Going viral on Pinterest:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m brave but not “order something different from the restaurant menu” kind of brave.

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Activity Log ✨

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Paid my mortgage so don’t ask me to come out. I’m getting my money’s worth.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Living alone is so dumb, you’ll be asking your pets if they’ve seen your phone, and those lazy bastards never know.

The only constant in my life are the accidental screenshots of my lock screen.

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Adulting means growing hair in places you’re not supposed to and losing hair in places you don’t want to.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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