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Parenting: the art of negotiating with tiny, relentless snack scavengers until you realize resistance is futile and you surrender to the snack demands 🍎🍪🤣

family, food, frustration, give, give in, humor, just, kids, over, parenting, repetition, snack, throw, yelling

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27 shares on Threads this month:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

93 shares on Instagram this month:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Nobody should be blowing up Teslas. If you just wait a bit, they’ll probably do it by themselves.

72 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t wait for later to eat the cake. Do it now, before another mammal of your household finds it.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

13 shares on X this month:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine being in the Trojan horse with the lads, pure darkness and giggling like hehehe

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Just knowing that I have to get out of bed tomorrow is already annoying and it’s not even dark yet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

What are cats even trying to do?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

69 but we both just farting.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on YouTube:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Just landed via Slack:

It’s actually scary how your whole life depends on how well you did as a teenager.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Seen just now on YouTube:

You get your hands on a real serious pair of scissors and wonder what the hell they were doing with the regular ones.

Spotted on Snapchat:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Just cleaned out my junk drawer if anyone needs a CD to reinstall Windows 95.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Imagine playing Truth or Dare and they dare you to go home.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Men used to go to war, now they drinking matcha.

Just shared via Reddit:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Just landed via Slack:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Call your family now and ask them what the wifi password is, so they have time to find the little paper it’s written on before Thanksgiving.

Andrew Tate is what you’d get if Axe body spray gained consciousness.

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Hey kid, wanna hear a scary story? One day, you will be able to do whatever you want, and you will choose to stay home alone.

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

I don’t know how to knit, so I made you a tinfoil hat.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨