Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Your honor, my client doesn’t like jail.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Not arguing with people anymore, I’m just gonna say “it makes sense that you would think that”.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

In the 90s, you’d always find your way to some stranger’s house.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

For Thanksgiving don’t ask me about my life, just pass me the bottle.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

If the office is always a little cold, you might be working for the lizard people.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Therapists probably have to struggle so hard not to ask to see pictures of the people their clients are obsessing over.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I be like, “Who’s praying on my downfall?” as if I don’t make self-destructive life decisions.

Just shared via Messenger:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Hey boy, are you my washing machine? Because neither of you know how long 10 minutes last.

Just landed via YouTube:

8 planets, 204 countries, thousands of islands, 7 seas, 8 billion people, and I’m single.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Breaking via WeChat:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Trending via Instagram:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's ready to splurge at Michaels! 💸🎨 Don't worry, Michael better be ready to work overtime today! 🛠️😂"

arts, Arts & Crafts, bring, crafts, creativity, hit, humor, michael, Michaels, paycheck, pizza, shopping, spending, store, supply

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

0

2 months ago

antics, blanket, boss, funny idea, humor, idea, night, night time, office, office antics, over, prank, sleep, time, workplace
After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

0

2 months ago

away, crime, entertainment, get away, humor, hundred, investigation, murder, paranoia, podcast, solve, start, ten, think, true, true crime
Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

0

2 months ago

babe, couch, couple, everyday, everyday life, humor, ignore, lay, lazy, life, phone, phones, play, relationship, together
Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

0

2 months ago

appetite, feel, food, great, humor, hungry, irony, meal, soup, still, want
I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

1

2 months ago

baby, born, doing, doing good, good, hope, hospital, humor, i
Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

0

2 months ago

12, business, business days, days, humor, me, nobody, outfit, parenting, preparation, put, snow, snow outfit, struggle, toddler, told, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Reddit this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Your eyes water when you yawn because you miss your bed and it makes you sad.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

50 shares on Threads this month:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

11 shares on Threads this month:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles that you realize there is always a way to solve problems without using violence.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Men used to send love letters in the middle of wars, and now they think reassurance is too much effort.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Lord of the Rings is wild cause Gandalf told Frodo he had to go on a super dangerous journey and Frodo was like “Ok, can I bring my gardener?”

Going viral on TikTok:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Making waves on Slack:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Making waves on Threads:

Nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

Trending via Threads:

Why do flat earthers care so much? Like, what if the Earth is flat. What now?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

Soup is great for when you’re hungry but want to still feel hungry afterward.

I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨