Paycheck hit. I’m at Michaels Arts & Crafts supply store telling them to bring out Michael.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

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There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

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Egyptians did pretty well for a civilization that wrote entirely in emoji.

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The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

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Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

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Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

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Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.