Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Dear Aliens, Now would be a good time. Thanks!

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Going viral on Instagram:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Freshly posted on Threads:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Trending via Instagram:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

Just shared via Telegram:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Just shared via TikTok:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Shared recently on Discord:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Just landed via WeChat:

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

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People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?
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Commentary:
"Those who can fall asleep faster than a dropped potato 🥔 have got to be hiding some magical sleep secrets 🧙‍♂️. Do they skip the overthinking stage and dive straight into dreamland? 🌙 Maybe they're just professional nappers with a PhD in Dozing Off 😴. Sweet dreams or plot twist: they're actually night ninjas 🌌!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

35 shares on Reddit this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

73 shares on Threads this month:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

50 shares on Telegram this month:

That awkward moment your mom is doing the dishes and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

31 shares on TikTok this month:

I want a man to love me so bad his entire family thinks I did witchcraft on him.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

56 shares on Reddit this month:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

49 shares on Slack this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

48 shares on Slack this month:

My Christmas letter this year includes a bonus DVD of my colonoscopy.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Starting to think business is standing on me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Quit” is not in my vocabulary but “resign”, “drop out”, and “give up” are.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by maintaining eye contact whilst twerking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

522 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,115

Funny Quotes Topics

17,265

Funny Quotes Images

15,115

Updated

Dec 25, 2025

Users Online

4,053

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I like how my fridge also hums when it’s trying to concentrate.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

If you want to experience hunger, go and live with a wealthy person or family.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Mid-life crisis? No, no, mid-day crisis. Something happens every day.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

“Huh” is 94% of my vocabulary.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Kids today will never understand how many ninjas there were in the 1980s.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Just landed via Messenger:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Breaking via Threads:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Just landed via TikTok:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.

Just shared via Instagram:

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.

Just shared via Twitch:

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

Making waves on WeChat:

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

Trending via Discord:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

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