Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

I’m retired. I was tired yesterday and I’m tired again today.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Vaping always looked dumb. It looks like you’re smoking a kazoo, and now the lead poisoning is the cherry on top.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I always make sure the garage door is shut. Wouldn’t want hoodlums stealing the stuff I’ve been meaning to get rid of for years.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Broadcasted on Slack:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Going viral on Messenger:

I tried to embrace my flaws. They filed a restraining order.

Making waves on Facebook:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The IRS needs special envelopes for when you’re not in trouble.

Going bananas on Slack:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

The fine art of sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong.

Just shared via Slack:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Those who can fall asleep faster than a dropped potato 🥔 have got to be hiding some magical sleep secrets 🧙‍♂️. Do they skip the overthinking stage and dive straight into dreamland? 🌙 Maybe they're just professional nappers with a PhD in Dozing Off 😴. Sweet dreams or plot twist: they're actually night ninjas 🌌!"

asleep, fall, freak, humor, i, me, mean, people, quick, relax, sleep, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on YouTube this month:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it like five or six times. You know, just to be sure.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

73 shares on Facebook this month:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

The best addition to any essay is, of course, a condescending tone.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

35 shares on X this month:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

39 shares on Discord this month:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

58 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My secret talent is turning any situation into a considerably more awkward one.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I took some free community martial arts lessons for self-defense, but I’m starting to think Tai Chi is too slow for most muggers.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Spice up your anxiety attack by playing the Jaws theme song.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Friends with no kids are like: Want to go to New Zealand this Friday?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Jeans have the tendency of looking neat when you’re about to wash them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

I’m not accepting the bare minimum; I need you to shake it to the max.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

76% of pardoned turkeys end up back in the system.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My career goal is to be able to just delete my LinkedIn account at some point.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Me and my boys are broke, so we take turns taking pictures of one iced matcha.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My last husband’s name is Don. I just added an E to it and walked away.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

I wish I were a wild horse in Kazakhstan. That would fix everything.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

Trending via Twitch:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Stirring up shit at the wedding by going up to random people and saying “I think it’s so brave that you’re here”.

Just landed via Messenger:

Never lie to Indian girls. That red dot be recording everything.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Seen just now on TikTok:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

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