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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

No, it’s totally fine, Grandma. Nobody else needs to use the stairs today.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on YouTube:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Just shared via Messenger:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Going viral on Facebook:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Trending via Facebook:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Just landed via Telegram:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Live now on WeChat:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Just shared via Messenger:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Those who can fall asleep faster than a dropped potato 🥔 have got to be hiding some magical sleep secrets 🧙‍♂️. Do they skip the overthinking stage and dive straight into dreamland? 🌙 Maybe they're just professional nappers with a PhD in Dozing Off 😴. Sweet dreams or plot twist: they're actually night ninjas 🌌!"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

4 hours ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Pleasantly surprised to discover the treadmill I bought came with a remote control, so I can run it from my recliner.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

How is it still this week?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

The only warning I take seriously these days is when my cell phone battery is low.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Does your life really flash before your eyes or is it just your brain closing all open tabs one last time.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If it ain’t broke, my kids haven’t used it yet.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Grandma complained that with age, her joints were getting weaker. Told her to just roll them a little tighter.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WeChat:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Making waves on Facebook:

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

Reported on WhatsApp:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Spotted on Twitch:

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Just shared via X:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Just shared via Facebook:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

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