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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

I really hope my house is haunted and not in need of structural repairs.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Who called it a biological clock and not an egg timer?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

You can always tell when someone is on a diet by how they scrape every last bit from that yogurt container.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

4 minutes ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

Just landed via Telegram:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

Reported on Facebook:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Just landed via X:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Just landed via X:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Trending via Threads:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

4 months ago

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Those who can fall asleep faster than a dropped potato 🥔 have got to be hiding some magical sleep secrets 🧙‍♂️. Do they skip the overthinking stage and dive straight into dreamland? 🌙 Maybe they're just professional nappers with a PhD in Dozing Off 😴. Sweet dreams or plot twist: they're actually night ninjas 🌌!"

asleep, fall, freak, humor, i, me, mean, people, quick, relax, sleep, thoughts

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

778 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,940

Funny Quotes Topics

13,912

Funny Quotes Images

10,940

4 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I just need to get over everything that has happened to me in my entire life and then we can hang out.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

I try not to post too much, to give everyone else a better chance at being seen.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Sleeping nakey nakey nakey just in case Santa wants a different type of cookie tonight.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Dating apps aren’t working. I’ll see ya at Home Depot, gentlemen.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Trending via WhatsApp:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Making waves on Facebook:

“It is what it is,” I say, not really knowing what it actually is.

Shared recently on YouTube:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Breaking via Threads:

Are you spaghetti because I want you to meat my balls?

Just shared via WeChat:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

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