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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Pouring an ice-cold glass of anxiety.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The magician told me to “Pick a card! Any card!” So I took his Visa.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Facebook friends are like pens. You may have 150, but only 5 are writing.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Most earthquakes could have been an email.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Before sleeping, most people will imagine stuff they want to happen. Like sleeping.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

Trending via Facebook:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Making waves on Discord:

Spice up your meltdown through interpretive dance.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Trending via Twitch:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Spotted on Facebook:

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Making waves on Messenger:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Making waves on Facebook:

This too shall pass… It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

6 days ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about being an unexpected inspiration for birth control, humorous and cheeky.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Whenever I walk into a room, the urge to use birth control suddenly skyrockets! 🚫👶😆"

advice, birth, birth control, control, humor, i, inspiration, parenting, relationship

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Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on X this month:

Good morning, dickhead, your little ray of sarcastic sunshine has arrived.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

If I text you at 8:10, you’re supposed to reply at 8:09.

49 shares on Slack this month:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Haircuts should be covered by healthcare.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

24 shares on Telegram this month:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

69 shares on X this month:

People my age are on baby #2, and I’m on drink #5.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Men are only nice for 3 weeks, then surprise you with another personality.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Imagine the carnage at an IKEA team building event.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to brag, but I can forget what I’m saying while I’m saying it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Shared recently on Slack:

But what if I don’t want someone that’s good for me?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I need a new hobby that costs zero dollars and takes up 100% of my free time. So far, all I’ve come up with is mowing the lawn.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

The guy who drills the holes so you can assemble IKEA furniture is clearly having problems at home.

Making waves on TikTok:

Remember when a series of unfortunate events was a book and not your life?

Spotted on TikTok:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

Going viral on Pinterest:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Shared recently on Facebook:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Please remember, I am an inspiration for birth control.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I’m going to bed, everyone. Try to keep it down.

Sometimes I’ll pause a YouTube video to scroll on reels. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to be loved genuinely.

Now I get why my grandma got up early to have a little coffee by herself.

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨