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🎅🎄🎁 Well, it seems like Santa might have some competition for the spotlight on Christmas Day! Forget Jesus, it's all about the jolly old man in red, am I right? Who wouldn't want to celebrate the birth of the merry gift-giver himself? Looks like Santa's sleigh is pulling ahead in this festive race! 🤣 #SantaClausIsComingToTown

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One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

1 month ago
adult, after, back, blues, hardest, long weekend, Monday, Monday blues, motivation, office, productivity, returning, things, weekend, work
Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

1 month ago
bakery, experience, food, humor, nice, perfume, scent, vanilla, walking
People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

1 month ago
conversation, humor, i, intelligence, intelligent, irony, least, myself, others, people, self, self-talk, talk, tell, wit
They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

1 month ago
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Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

1 month ago
apologize, embarrassment, every, hearing, humor, i, me, person, recording, self-reflection, voice
If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

1 month ago
humor, i, irony, me, news, sarcasm, slap, smart, technology, turn, TV

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

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I don’t understand construction. Like, how do they know what to do next?

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Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

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One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

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The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

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You can always tell when a man is dating someone new. Why you going to the aquarium and the museum?

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Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.

Just shared via Messenger:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m gonna build a pirate ship and sail the high seas. Who’s coming with?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Just landed via Discord:

Well, that’s not very in love with me of you.

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Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Some woman is out there right now, pregnant with Leonardo DiCaprio’s next girlfriend.

You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

If you can’t handle me at my worst just imagine how I feel.

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

Sorry, the deadline for complaints was yesterday.

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

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Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

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