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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Old age is always 15 years older than I am.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

I can be social. Today I meowed at my cat and he meowed back.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

825 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,987

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,987

25 minutes ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Seen just now on Discord:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Making waves on Messenger:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Freshly posted on Slack:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Trending via Pinterest:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Breaking via WeChat:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Spotted on WeChat:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice-cream.

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

6 months ago

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🎅🎄🎁 Well, it seems like Santa might have some competition for the spotlight on Christmas Day! Forget Jesus, it's all about the jolly old man in red, am I right? Who wouldn't want to celebrate the birth of the merry gift-giver himself? Looks like Santa's sleigh is pulling ahead in this festive race! 🤣 #SantaClausIsComingToTown

birth, celebrate, celebration, Christmas, cool, holiday, humor, pretty, Santa, together, togetherness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share → : Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?
6 months ago
Share → : All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.
5 months ago
Share → : I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.
6 months ago
Share → : Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.
6 months ago
Share → : One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.
5 months ago
Share → : When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.
3 months ago
Share → : It’s really sad that April Fools is the only day people are appropriately skeptical of stuff they read on the internet.
3 months ago
Share → : Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

825 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,987

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,987

25 minutes ago

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Waiting for my wife to approve my new year’s resolution of making independent decisions.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Instead of being constantly irritated by other people’s flaws, I’ve decided to become more self-absorbed.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Be yourself cause no one wants to be like you!

Making waves on Twitch:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Reported on Twitch:

I made coffee and carried it to the couch. I’ve done everything I had planned for this Sunday.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

Live now on X:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Just landed via WeChat:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Breaking via WeChat:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Going viral on Facebook:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

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