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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

I thought there was a spider on the rug but it was just yarn. It’s dead yarn now though.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

As someone with OCD, I can’t help but respect how Pringles are just like, no, this is the order you must eat them in.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Public transportation is great, but they should invent a type where it’s only me in the vehicle.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Lois Lane said, “Clark?” like she didn’t just make out with that same jawline in spandex twelve hours ago.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Just landed via TikTok:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Live now on Facebook:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Breaking via Reddit:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Trending via Instagram:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Just landed via Messenger:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Making waves on Messenger:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Going bananas on Discord:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Going viral on Reddit:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Just shared via TikTok:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

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Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.
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Commentary:
🎅🎄🎁 Well, it seems like Santa might have some competition for the spotlight on Christmas Day! Forget Jesus, it's all about the jolly old man in red, am I right? Who wouldn't want to celebrate the birth of the merry gift-giver himself? Looks like Santa's sleigh is pulling ahead in this festive race! 🤣 #SantaClausIsComingToTown

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Twitch this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

84 shares on Threads this month:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Festival is when you pay a fortune to live like a homeless person.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

13 shares on Facebook this month:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

71 shares on Threads this month:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

37 shares on Facebook this month:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes your ankle takes a vacation while you’re walking.

41 shares on Slack this month:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry for inventing the universe.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My best friend is married and buying a house. I ate popcorn for dinner.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I disagree with my politics.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

The best part of getting older? I can wake up on my day off, without an alarm, at the same time my alarm would go off.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Coconut water taste like it’s been in someone else’s mouth.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Snapchat:

“You’re always sleeping,” God forbid a woman wants to be unconscious.

Trending via Slack:

My morning routine includes 20 minutes of staring at the ceiling thinking about how tired I am and debating if I really need to live today.

Trending via Pinterest:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Making waves on Telegram:

Roses are red, I’m staying in bed. I’ve made no plans, besides pretending I’m dead.

Going viral on Reddit:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Live now on Reddit:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Making waves on Telegram:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If someone wants to spend time with you, they’ll let you know. Get rid of those people.

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