Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Having hoes in different area codes sounds really exhausting.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Harmonicas are basically for people who like to hear music while they spit.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Revenge has no expiry date. I will deal with you when I’m ready.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

If I walk into a girl’s house and she got like 50 plants, I know she’s a keeper because she already takes care of a bunch of useless things. What’s one more?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Going viral on Slack:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Just landed via Slack:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Making waves on TikTok:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Just landed via Instagram:

Anyone still shut off lights when leaving a room because their parents used to say, “Don’t waste electricity!”

Trending via Slack:

Why is nobody questioning the quietness of the cosmos?

Going viral on Instagram:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Freshly posted on X:

You really have to enjoy the way a man is acting in the beginning, because you will never meet that man again.

Shared recently on Slack:

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

3 weeks ago

Humorous text about hiding a dead body in a new browser tab for reading later.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect crime – burying a dead body among the endless sea of unread articles and forgotten tabs! 👀💻 Just make sure you don't accidentally close that tab when you're deep into the article… 🚫🔍 #TechSavvyMurderMystery"

best, body, dark, dark humor, dead, dead body, hide, humor, internet, later, new, new tab, place, pretty, procrastination, read, read later, sure, tab

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Reddit this month:

My therapist said this to me, and it hit me like a brick: “They’re not your friends if they disagree with you or try to challenge you.”

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve been in a bad mood since like 2010.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

I cannot hear a word you are saying if your hoodie strings are uneven.

80 shares on Slack this month:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

28 shares on WeChat this month:

So annoying that in order to meet new people you need to go out and meet new people. Ideally, I would have known you in a past life.

64 shares on Twitch this month:

What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

70 shares on Slack this month:

Them: OMG, I haven’t seen you in so long. Me: Yeah, that was on purpose.

55 shares on Threads this month:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

81 shares on Discord this month:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely!

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like you I keep you close, if not I keep you at a distance so I can mime squishing your head between my thumb and forefinger.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,333

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

In filling out an application, where it says, “In case of emergency notify”, I put “Doctor.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

My life advice is always the same. Wait for karma, but take up kickboxing, just in case.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

You can eat cheesecake for breakfast if you want to. No one can stop you. The police can’t even stop you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I hope we’re good friends until we die, then I hope we can stay ghost friends, walk through walls and scare people.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m so unpopular at school they call me “Batteries”. I’m never included in anything.

Shared recently on Telegram:

WhatsApp calls should indicate whose internet is poor to avoid unnecessary arguments.

Trending via X:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just shared via YouTube:

Apple want $3,500 for their Vision Pro. No thanks. I can look like a dork for free.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Cats are the best authoritarians. You will do their bidding, and you will like it.

Making waves on YouTube:

The invention of locks was a key turning point in history.

Just landed via Instagram:

The problem is I am always the problem.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴