Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Don’t ever get excited if your kid likes a new food. They won’t like it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Your honor, if it pleases the court, I brought homemade brownies for everyone.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

January 1st: anything is possible. January 2nd: but not today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

291 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,560

Funny Quotes Topics

17,615

Funny Quotes Images

15,560

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,554

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Many people mistakenly believe that diamond is the hardest substance on earth, but in reality it is my husband’s stubborn head.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Eat whatever you want. If someone calls you fat, eat them too.

Going viral on WeChat:

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Live now on Instagram:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Just landed via Reddit:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

Breaking via Facebook:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Roses are red, time to rest my head. The romance is dead, unless you count dreams instead. 💤🥀 #BedtimeMedley"

bed, going, humor, poetry, red, relaxation, roses, roses are red, sleep

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

4 months ago

another, around, benefit, benefits, cat, confusion, creature, having, hear, middle, most, night, noise, pet, random, underrated
Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

2 months ago

day, going, having, humor, i, least, life, myself, plan, planned, pregnancy, pregnancy test, relief, remind, reminder, still, stress, stress relief, take, test, thing
I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

2 months ago

breakup, girlfriend, hate, humor, jealousy, me, rat, relationship
Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

2 months ago

answering, anxiety, anxious, apology, communication, email, humor, i, ignored, late, late response, minutes, procrastination, response, spending, three, weeks
My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

7 days ago

bet, humor, less, lose, loss, new, New Year’s resolution, others, presumption, resolution, rude, rudeness, sarcasm, weight, weight loss, year’s, yours
Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

2 months ago

anything, around, attraction, confidence, distraction, flirtation, grocery, grocery store, hot, humor, i, men, reach, self-awareness, store, weird

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Me, to the printer: “Hey, could you print this out for me?” Printer: “Sure, but first I’ll show you all the sounds I can make.”

26 shares on Threads this month:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you all introverts ever open a text and think, ‘I’ll reply when I have the energy,’ and then it’s three weeks, and you have to live with the guilt of being a horrible friend.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

When someone asks me why I’m leaving the party early, I say “I’m late for an appointment with my pajamas.”

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

17 shares on Facebook this month:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

51 shares on X this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

26 shares on X this month:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

12 shares on TikTok this month:

If people continue to behave so badly, I will donate my organs to an animal shelter.

48 shares on Slack this month:

I’m at the age where unnecessary noise be pissing me off.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Please don’t be mean to me, because I can be meaner and I hate being mean.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I spend all day on Facebook so that Mark Zuckerberg can eat.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The funniest thing I heard an elder say, “My generation had Wonder Woman, your generation has to wonder if it’s a woman.”

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

How I flirt? I look at an attractive person several times and hope that they are bolder than me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Just landed via Telegram:

Closing down one work tab every day until Christmas like a reverse advent calendar.

Trending via Telegram:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Going viral on Threads:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

If I honk at this person, maybe it will make them a better person.

Just landed via Threads:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

Shared recently on Discord:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

One of the most underrated benefits of having a cat is that you get another creature to look around in confusion with you when you hear a random loud-ass noise in the middle of the night.

Sometimes when I’m having a particularly stressful day, I take a pregnancy test to remind myself that at least one thing in my life is still going as planned.

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

Apologies for the late response, instead of spending three minutes answering your email, I ignored it and felt anxious for two weeks.

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

Weird how I can’t seem to reach anything at the grocery store when hot men are around.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨