Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Y’all need to stop marrying people who look just like you do but with a wig on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That’s not fat. It’s bonus content.

Breaking via Reddit:

Basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up, and also really bad at going to sleep.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

“Santa isn’t real!” Okay, I literally just saw him at the mall.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Spotted on Facebook:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Just landed via Telegram:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Just landed via Threads:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Trending via TikTok:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Just shared via Messenger:

My laptop is overheating because I am doing a really good job.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

My dental plan is, “I guess I’ll just chew on this side of my mouth from now on.”

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

0
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic ode to misophonia! 🌹💙 Sounds like someone needs to chew a bit quieter or invest in some noise-cancelling headphones! 🎧😅 Just remember, it's all fun and games until the sound of your chewing becomes a poetic inspiration!

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m sorry that I bit you, I was trying to flirt.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

16 shares on Threads this month:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

54 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

30 shares on Telegram this month:

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

99 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m so thankful I live on the planet that has pizza.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever named frogs got it 100% right. Those things are frogs.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Fuzzy socks on and ready for anything.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you apply enough sunscreen, the rain simply rolls off.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Just call me Mother Nature because I can go from hot to cold in a 24-hour period, too.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” That entirely depends on what you need me to do.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Feeling feral. Better make some mac and cheese.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Making waves on Slack:

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I dunno how to flirt but I can insult you so nicely.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If you’re going to text your boss that you’re an hour late, make sure you end with, “I’m bringing you a ham and cheese croissant.”

Shared recently on Discord:

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Going viral on WeChat:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Just landed via Telegram:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Trending via X:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Making waves on Facebook:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Spotted on Messenger:

I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴