Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I’ve come to the conclusion that my guardian angel is very possessive about me.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

I appreciate the interest, but I’m officially removing myself from the running to be the next James Bond. Thank you for your understanding.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If a government has online beef with a pop star, it has already lost.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,526

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

Good morning to everyone except those who need approval from strangers on the internet.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Can you put some pants on my voodoo doll and pop some money in the pocket, please?

Trending via TikTok:

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Just shared via Discord:

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Shared recently on WeChat:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Spotted on Reddit:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Just landed via Threads:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Spotted on Reddit:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Live now on WeChat:

We like to vilify hot people, but it’s important to know that people who aren’t hot are also terrible.

Sane is boring.

4 weeks ago

Funny text about embracing craziness, playful and bold quote for humor enthusiasts.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs sanity when you have creativity and chaos as your BFFs? Sane is for Sundays, let's dance with madness all week long!"

boring, fun, humor, personality, sane

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

1 month ago

2007, age, born, email, emails, humor, i, intern, millennial, office, older, technology, unread, unread email, year
Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

3 weeks ago

downhill, follower, followers, here, humor, media, new, sarcasm, social, social media, welcome
I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

4 weeks ago

culture, days, expression, fun, i, miss, music, nostalgia, rap
Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

1 month ago

agreement, communication, decision, half, humor, i, mistake, problem, problems, regret, said, saying, saying yes, sure, yes
I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

4 weeks ago

anything, bad, bad hair day, black, black cape, cape, day, hair, humor, incorrect, incorrect part, incorrectly, lights, me, never, parted, sadness, salon, seen, self-deprecation, under, wet, wet hair
By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

3 weeks ago

back, communication, disrespect, disrespectful, even, humor, i, media, procrastination, remember, social, social media, text, texting, time, too

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Slack this month:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

13 shares on Threads this month:

I’m basically the human version of tangled up Christmas lights.

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

61 shares on Messenger this month:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

49 shares on Telegram this month:

She was rare. Like a parking spot in the front row on a rainy day.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

If you drink a lot of water, you won’t have time for other people’s drama because you’ll be too busy looking for a bathroom.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

All my bills say “Outstanding.” I guess I am good to go.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

You don’t realize how incorrect and annoying YouTube video essays are until they’re about something you like.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Why can’t my fat leave me like everything else does?

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

Live now on YouTube:

The only sunscreen that’s 100% effective is abstinence.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Going bananas on Discord:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Breaking via Threads:

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Who really needs jetpacks, I want to be able to start over from my last save point.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Just shared via Instagram:

I always feel sleepy, except when I want to sleep.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Sane is boring.

Keep the laugh going 😂

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Welcome, new followers! It’s all downhill from here.

I miss them days if you couldn’t rap, you didn’t.

Half of my problems are because I said “sure” instead of “no.”

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨