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Someone yelled “hey, retard!” and I looked back.

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One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

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Donating blood today to make room for more food.

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A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

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I really think my coworkers and I deserve an Oscar for acting like everything at work is fine.

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Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Someone from has copied:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Someone from has copied:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from has copied:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from has shared:

I recently saw a documentary about dinosaurs. They simply ate everyone they didn’t like. I like that concept.