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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

That sound when you close the cupboard and hear something fall inside, that’s the sound of somebody else’s problem.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

My husband doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do when I sing, “Someday My Prince Will Come,” while I’m cleaning.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I miss the days when you could simply end a phone call by slamming the receiver down angrily.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Just landed via Twitch:

I’ve realized that some people don’t like me, but I’ve also realized that I don’t give a shit.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Spotted on X:

I try to contain my craziness, but the lid keeps popping off.

Trending via Facebook:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Reported on Telegram:

The empty spot in your bed is for snacks, not liars.

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

6 months ago

Science can’t explain it, but some hairs can grow up to a quarter inch overnight. Never in a good spot though.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive overnight hair growth phenomenon – Nature's way of keeping us on our toes and our eyebrows on fleek! 🌱💁‍♂️ Just when you think you're safe, BAM! Bangs appear where you least expect them. It's all fun and games until you wake up looking like a Chia Pet! 😂 #BadHairDay"

explain, explanation, good, grow, growth, hair, humor, never, overnight, quarter, science, spot

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

2 hours ago

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

I made a resolution to eat better and exercise in the new year but didn’t specify which year I was referring to.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Alexa, tell Roomba to get the spider.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Landlord: I’m raising your rent. Me: Am I getting a bigger house?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on TikTok:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t do anything with my life except romanticize and decay with indecision.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Be the reason why a count unleashes ancient horrors onto the world when he thinks of you.

Just landed via Reddit:

Working with children gives you so much in return. Lice, for example.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Seen just now on Telegram:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Spotted on Facebook:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

Breaking via TikTok:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

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