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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Why is everyone’s main goal to get married and have kids? Like, don’t you guys want to do drugs in foreign countries?

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Something very chic about crying while driving… have to keep it a little classy so you don’t crash… other drivers unaware a diva is down in the next lane over…

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

I love unplanned fun.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Breaking via YouTube:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Just landed via Pinterest:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

US etiquette question: Do you need to tip the guy at the border who reads your last five years of social media history?

Just landed via X:

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

At first I’m shy, then I’m a podcast.

Trending via WhatsApp:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I have been touched inappropriately by the sun today.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Carpe diem! 🌞 Unless today's coffee is lukewarm and the wifi is acting up. In that case, proceed straight to tomorrow! 🚀 #Priorities

day, humor, next, optimism, procrastination, seize, suck, sucks

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

0

2 months ago

calory, diet, food, humor, i, immunity, pick
You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

0

2 months ago

adulting, age, comparison, day, expectations, having, house, humor, life, nice, own, somebody
My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

0

4 months ago

bored, boredom, enough, entertain, entertainment, family, family life, favorite, getting, humor, kid, kid boredom, kids, life, parenting, patience, point, self, self entertainment
Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

0

2 months ago

beverage, caffeine, coffee, drink, energized, even, feel, game, humor, i, just, love, me, routine
At the job interview with one AirPod in.

0

2 months ago

AirPod, etiquette, headphones, humor, interview, interview etiquette, job, job interview, multitasking, tech, workplace
An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

0

2 months ago

annoying, computer, email, frustration, humor, return, store, technology

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s Monday, but at what cost?

84 shares on WeChat this month:

There should be a good 10 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Nothing tests your patience like a group chat blowing up your phone.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Gang members are so lucky to have something to do with their hands in photos.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

97 shares on WeChat this month:

I just want someone to miss me the way my 3 year old nephew misses me when I go to the washroom.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

57 shares on Slack this month:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

When intelligence meets empathy and kindness, it’s so sexy.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Beginning of August is always wild because it’s peak summertime, but the veil is so thin, like it’s Halloween.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Sparkling water tastes like that feeling when your foot falls asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I miss you (the money I spent).

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

A girl, her bed, and TV series on a Friday evening is a true love story.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Got a new Roomba but keeping the old one to see if I can get them to fight.

Making waves on TikTok:

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Live now on Slack:

Nothing has paid off less than learning to do the Macarena.

Breaking via Instagram:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Marriage is 33.3% hiding to eat snacks because you and your spouse are supposed to be on a diet.

Shared recently on Threads:

Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

If I could have immunity to anything I would pick calories.

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Coffee doesn’t even make me feel energized, I just drink it for the love of the game.

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨