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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Hot girls have a private Instagram account with 20 followers.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Super quick question: does anyone know what the point is?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Holding back your sarcastic replies takes a lot of inner strength.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

34 minutes ago

3,416

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

Going viral on Telegram:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Just landed via WeChat:

You could go camping or you could stay at home, not shower, leave dirt on the floor and let some squirrels in.

Reported on Discord:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Going viral on Discord:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Trending via Slack:

Oh, lord. I brought my mouth with me to work today and it’s all sass. Prayers, please.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

6 months ago

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sex is great, but have you ever experienced the sheer satisfaction of checking off every single task on your to-do list? 🤓💪 It's a productivity high like no other – who needs romance when you have completed tasks, am I right? 😂 #ProductivityOverPleasure"

completion, ever, fine, humor, list, priorities, productivity, sex, single, thing, to-do, to-do list

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

34 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I was feeling kinda lonely this morning so I glued a coffee cup to the top of my car so people would wave at me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Sorry I lied when I said “I can’t complain.”

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Going viral on TikTok:

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

Making waves on Snapchat:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Making waves on Twitch:

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Reported on Reddit:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Going viral on Reddit:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

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