Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

That looks like a problem for someone else.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“You don’t look 40.” How am I supposed to look?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The feminine urge to be the most feared witch in the village.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Dec 22, 2025

3,951

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Going viral on Discord:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

It’s so hot here, I’m breaking a sweat just bitching and moaning about it.

Trending via YouTube:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

Trending via Twitch:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Trending via Messenger:

I get it, sauce, I also thicken over time.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Going bananas on Threads:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

2 months ago

0

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Sex is great, but have you ever experienced the sheer satisfaction of checking off every single task on your to-do list? 🤓💪 It's a productivity high like no other – who needs romance when you have completed tasks, am I right? 😂 #ProductivityOverPleasure"

completion, ever, fine, humor, list, priorities, productivity, sex, single, thing, to-do, to-do list

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

0

2 months ago

ambition, clean, cleaning, house, humor, i, procrastination, thought, today, watch, whole, woman, YouTube
My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

0

1 month ago

change, crush, found, humor, i, information, just, lack, lack of information, life, life change, once, perspective, realization, relationships
My favorite color is money.

0

2 months ago

color, favorite, favorite color, humor, irony, money, personal, personal preference, preference, wealth
Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

0

2 months ago

back, face, humor, i, past, punch, reflection, regret, self, time, time travel, travel, want
I miss the way I viewed the world before I found out too much about it.

0

5 months ago

before, found, humor, i, innocence, knowledge, miss, much, nostalgia, perspective, reflection, too, world, worldview
I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

0

1 month ago

daily, daily routine, humor, i, importance, important, introvert, morning, personality, quiet, routine, silence, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Facebook this month:

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

70 shares on Facebook this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

Why are plane tickets so expensive? You’re going that way anyway, just give me a ride.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

iPhone: I’m gonna update your software tonight while you sleep. Next morning, iPhone: I couldn’t do it, bro. Just didn’t feel right. Vibe was off.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Later is the best time to do anything.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years. I feel sorry for my next boyfriend. He might not make it through the day.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Nostalgia isn’t as good as it used to be.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hear me out. What if we don’t elect another president, and we all just promise to be really good?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,900

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m like 2% cute and 98% ugly.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Back to the Future and chill?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Can’t, I’m raging against the machine.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Hey, I noticed you’re not saying what I want.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

My opinion of the American education system is largely based on how many nuggets I get when I order a ten piece.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Making waves on Telegram:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Going viral on Threads:

Practicing how I’m gonna explain to the aliens that baseline and Vaseline do not sound the same.

Making waves on X:

No show does a misunderstanding / miscommunication plot better than Modern Family does.

Freshly posted on X:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Live now on WeChat:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

Trending via Snapchat:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

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