Trendy Funny Quotes

  • Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.
  • My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.
  • I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.
  • Nearly choked on a carrot. A donut would never do that to me.
  • Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.
  • I use a headshot from 2008 on my LinkedIn to prepare future employers for disappointment.