Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I keep my eyes in great shape by rolling them constantly.
  • I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.
  • Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.
  • And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.
  • Still don’t understand how girls with no jobs be holding iPhones.
  • “Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.