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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Sex makes you happy. So I understand your dissatisfaction.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, cleanse your face, and share my posts.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

That was a nice hour long Twitter scroll. Feel much worse as always. See you guys tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I’m equally comfortable holding a guitar as I am holding a baby, I just hold them both by the neck.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,278

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m so loyal to my music, I’ll hunt down a song I used to love five years back.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Making waves on Facebook:

Twitter is evidence that insane people can be extremely entertaining from a safe distance.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Quitting my job to pursue my true passion: not working.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.

Live now on Discord:

May your life one day be as beautiful as you portray it on social media.

Going viral on YouTube:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

Going viral on Facebook:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Trending via Instagram:

Who called it a shopaholic and not a boughtanist?

Seen just now on Threads:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet… sounds like a real whirlwind of a story! 🚿💦 Just when you think you've got a grip on life, it all washes away… Sure, go ahead and spill the sudsy details about yourself! 🤣🛁 #ShowerThoughts"

funny situation, hold, humor, i, jet, myself, personal, self, shower, situation, slipping, tell, trying, water

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do we lazy people actually go to heaven? Or are we being picked up?

33 shares on Threads this month:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

36 shares on Reddit this month:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

14 shares on WeChat this month:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

12 shares on X this month:

It really cannot be overstated how many of your problems disappear once you have a beautiful woman who is in love with you.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

I miss the days when “What’s for dinner” wasn’t my problem.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

The cool thing about being a procrastinator is, really bad ideas also don’t ever make it off the ground.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Girls take a picture of their legs in a bubble bath and say “guess where I am”. The library?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

You cannot trust me at a zoo because I’ll release the animals.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

What kind of psychopath wants to be the life of the party?

Seen just now on Messenger:

Your car antlers tell me everything I need to know about you.

Shared recently on X:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Live now on Messenger:

The female rage of having so much to say but refusing to say it, cause their emotional intelligence is too low for them to comprehend it.

Going viral on Twitch:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Making waves on Twitch:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

Trending via Messenger:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Spotted on Facebook:

I hope this email kills us both.

Just shared via YouTube:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

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