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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I bet when you invited me to Thanksgiving dinner you didn’t think I’d stay this long.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

The lion does not concern himself with the check engine light.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Having leftover pizza for breakfast is an actual blessing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Jan 5, 2026

3,690

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

If I let you into my life, I am either emotionally invested or you are a grilled cheese sandwich.

Going viral on WeChat:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Making waves on Pinterest:

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

Live now on Facebook:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Trending via Discord:

I’m at the “buy bigger jeans” part of my Eat. Pray. Love. journey.

Spotted on Facebook:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Trending via Reddit:

Hate when I view someone’s story, and it’s their birthday.

Trending via Pinterest:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Shared recently on Discord:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

2 months ago

0

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Grin from ear to ear like a monkey who just hit the fruit jackpot with a fresh, perfectly ripe banana! 🐵🍌😄 Let that happiness shine through, no matter how silly you may look! Embrace your inner primate and show off that infectious smile!"

banana, expression, happiness, humor, monkey, new, smile

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

0

2 months ago

breath, humor, i, intimacy, locked, morning, morning breath, point, romantic, tongue-kissing, where
I believe in Bigfoot because Bigfoot believes in me.

0

4 months ago

belief, believe, Bigfoot, creature, humor, i, me, mutual, mutual belief, mythical, mythical creature
The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

0

5 months ago

actor, actors, Avatar, Hollywood, job, job security, movie, security, signed
Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

0

2 months ago

cure, depression, enemy, exercise, fitness, hotter, humor, motivation, self-improvement
Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

0

4 weeks ago

both, conflict, costner, dance, dancing, humor, i, inner, inner conflict, inside, Kevin, Kevin Costner, know, wolf, works
January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

0

2 months ago

episode, humor, January, mood, schizophrenic, winter

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on WeChat this month:

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

18 shares on Messenger this month:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

17 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Stop avoiding your banking app. Go look at what you’ve done.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

48 shares on X this month:

I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together. What could you possibly be plotting? You can’t even get out of the open window.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Living your life to the fullest does not have to involve selfies with bison.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

As a beautiful woman, sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is “ew.”

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,681

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Just landed via X:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Making waves on TikTok:

You are born, you lie about how you are and then you die.

Just shared via Twitch:

I miss my bed. Why does it have to be so far from where I work?

Just shared via TikTok:

Adulting looked way more affordable in the 90’s. I feel scammed.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I just wanna be rich enough to not have to run onstage after concerts to get my bra back.

Shared recently on Discord:

Men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other’s eyes.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

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