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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Jan 7, 2026

3,729

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Spotted on Facebook:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Making waves on TikTok:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

My spirit animal is a sloth on its fourth nap of the day!

Going viral on Discord:

I’m still waiting for the day my parents will say, “It’s all fake, we are millionaires, this was just to teach you to be humble”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Shared recently on Threads:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just sitting on the couch googling if penguins have knees.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I made the mistake of clicking on an Instagram ad for a flannel shirt, and now the algorithm thinks I’m a lumberjack.

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

2 months ago

0

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Grin from ear to ear like a monkey who just hit the fruit jackpot with a fresh, perfectly ripe banana! 🐵🍌😄 Let that happiness shine through, no matter how silly you may look! Embrace your inner primate and show off that infectious smile!"

banana, expression, happiness, humor, monkey, new, smile

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry I’m unavailable… the horrors of reality insist upon themselves.

0

2 months ago

excuse, horror, horrors, humor, insist, reality, self-insistence, sorry, unavailability, unavailable
I came. I saw. I made it awkward.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, came, humor, i, moment, saw, situation, social, social situation
Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

0

2 months ago

animal, animals, bridge, calculation, car, family, hold, i, kids, sorry, stuffed, stuffed animal, travel, vacation, weight
They should send the Epstein list to everyone’s phones like that U2 album.

0

6 months ago

album, commentary, conspiracy, Epstein, humor, list, music, phone, phones, send, should, social, social commentary, u2, U2 album
My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

0

2 months ago

balance, body, burning, burning question, day, human, human body, leisure, leisure time, question, rest, sufficiency, thought, time, weekend, work life, work-life balance
Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

0

5 months ago

brand, excited, excitement, humor, motivation, new, procrastination, sarcasm, self sabotage, super, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m in favor of sticking an “out of order” sign on some people’s foreheads. As a warning.

94 shares on Threads this month:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

58 shares on Slack this month:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

47 shares on Reddit this month:

Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs — empty and deeply wrong.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.

85 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“I’m giving my daughter a male name, ain’t nobody cracking an Abdul.”

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Dudes be named Will but won’t.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t really see women throwing their boyfriend’s stuff out the window anymore.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Homeless man just called me a “loser,” and I showed him my house keys.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I finally used a screw from the random screw collection I’ve been accumulating for 25 years, and I’ve never felt so alive.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you can’t wow them with wisdom, baffle them with bullshit.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If I got a Dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,581

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Stop bothering me, or I will inform you of a behavioral pattern that is noticeable to other people, but I can tell you are not yet aware of.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Me at war: You guys mind if I leave a bit early today?

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Trying is the first step toward failure.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

The hottest I ever look is when I’m brushing my teeth in my underwear, but it’s very much a ‘tree falls in the woods’ situation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Just landed via Messenger:

Do you ever want sleep but sleep doesn’t want you?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Let’s play a game called you bring me food and I eat it.

Making waves on TikTok:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Just shared via Pinterest:

When kids try to guess your age it will either be completely flattering or utterly devastating, but never correct.

Just landed via TikTok:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

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