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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Some people are like clouds. When they go away it’s much better.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

8 pm to 10 pm on a weeknight is the shortest that two hours can possibly be.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,282

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Some call it flirting… I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractive…

Seen just now on WeChat:

All cars should have a rubber bumper all the way around so we can hit each other.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Spotted on Threads:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

When waiting for a flight, there’s always one guy at the gate that makes you think, “As long as I’m not sitting next to him, I’ll be fine.”

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Going bananas on Slack:

Children will see a neatly hanging dish towel and be like oh hell no.

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

2 months ago

0

So deep in her Instagram story, I accidentally liked an ad for a Toyota.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Oops, she got caught in the social media rabbit hole 🕳️📱, and ended up not just window shopping, but car shopping! 🚗 That accidental double-tap probably had Toyota feeling like they're one step closer to making a sale! 😂 #ShoppingGoals #InstaFail

accident, accidentally, ad, deep, distraction, humor, i, Instagram, media, online, social, social media, story, Toyota

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Airport beer at 6 a.m.? No problem. The airport is a lawless place that is free from judgment.

0

5 months ago

6, airport, am, beer, drinking, early, early morning, free, humor, judgment, lawless, lawless place, morning, no judgment, place, problem, travel
“Grey’s Anatomy” but it’s told entirely through the lens of the hospital’s HR department.

0

2 months ago

anatomy, department, drama, grey’s, Grey’s Anatomy, hospital, hr, HR department, humor, medical, medical drama, parody, perspective, television, workplace
Drive as I say, not as I drive.

0

2 months ago

advice, drive, driving, humor, i, irony, rules, say
Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

0

2 months ago

answer, call, conversation, humor, ID, irony, joke, loneliness, me, myself, self, twice, voicemail
If my toddler doesn’t sleep again tonight, I’m running away into the forest.

0

2 months ago

again, away, exhaustion, forest, humor, insomnia, night, parenting, running, running away, sleep, tiredness, toddler, tonight
Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

0

2 months ago

exaggeration, humor, opinion, people, statistic, stupid, ten

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Today’s toddlers can switch on laptops and use apps. When I was little, I ate sand.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

89 shares on TikTok this month:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

38 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

13 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

52 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately most of my sex noises come from trying to get out of bed.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

January is the Monday of the year.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Sleeping in in winter is really great, you still have about an hour of daylight left before it gets dark again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever named it overthinking didn’t think hard enough, cause overthinking is never over.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Been acting really busy today because I can tell my coworker wants to talk about something in his personal life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,652

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Who is this Rorschach guy and where did he get all the pictures of my parents fighting?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Gonna end every insult with “but in a good way”.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

We live in a time where intelligent people are being silenced, so that stupid people won’t be offended.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Born to be a hater but forced to understand where you’re coming from.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

Does everyone have that one colleague at work who puts you in a bad mood just by looking at them?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Trending via Twitch:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting a hug for Christmas.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

You should get a pension for having to go to school for so many years.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Just landed via Twitch:

All I’m saying is that I’m closer to being a millionaire than Jeff Bezos is.

Making waves on Threads:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wonder if that football guy will be at the Taylor Swift game again today.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Any room can be an escape room when you have diarrhea.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Don’t let the fact that I’m deeply unserious distract you from the fact that you’re in the presence of a genius.

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