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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Paid my rent and slept in every room of my house this week, kitchen and laundry room next.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Jan 2, 2026

3,296

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Autumn at last. Sitting on the sofa all day with a blanket and tea and watching movies. Just like in summer, but with a blanket and tea.

Breaking via Reddit:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Trending via Messenger:

I bet my calculator app wrapped would be pretty shameful.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Seen just now on YouTube:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Amazon’s checkout needs a breathalyzer feature which cancels your order if you’ve been clearly drunk-shopping.

Just shared via Snapchat:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Live now on Slack:

A house doesn’t have to be haunted to scare me, I’ve seen the listing prices.

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

2 months ago

0

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌊🦑🐟🌿 "Shoutout to our amazing ancestors for making that epic transition from sea-dwellers to land conquerors! 🙌🏼 But hey, maybe they just got a little too comfortable on land and forgot they had an ocean to run back to? 😂🚶🏽‍♂️🌊 #EvolutionGoneWild"

ancestors, disappointment, ever, evolution, evolving, humor, lungs, pretty, pride, proud, sarcasm, sea

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

0

2 months ago

conversation, drink, fun, humor, much, party, say, socializing, too, whiskey
I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

0

2 months ago

conservation, dicaprio, environment, future, future generation, generation, generations, girlfriend, humor, i, leonardo, Leonardo DiCaprio, relationship, save, trying
You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

0

2 months ago

car, creativity, expression, fun, humor, magnets, put, refrigerator, rules
They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

0

2 months ago

day, fatigue, humor, invention, rest, should, tired, where, wish
Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

0

2 months ago

being, divorce, name, real, relationship, sounds
I think you’re like the cat’s meow, annoying yet sweet.

0

2 months ago

annoying, cat, cats, compliment, humor, i, meow, personality, playful, sweet, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

54 shares on Threads this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

98 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

89 shares on Telegram this month:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

97 shares on Threads this month:

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Anime characters are always like “But you didn’t know about my eye,” and then they activate their mode.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My soulmate is chocolate cake.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Reincarnation, in this economy?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,529

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Science has enough bodies, I’m donating mine to English lit just to spice things up a bit.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, no, I shut it off and back on again. Why are you still here?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I’m not feeling very worky today.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Eating fast food shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough.

Going viral on Slack:

Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

Trending via Reddit:

Please don’t interrupt me when I’m trying to overhear something.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Shared recently on Threads:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Trending via Discord:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Going viral on YouTube:

If you ever wanted to know anything about me, just get me a bottle of wine, and you will, in fact, find out in about 10 minutes.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t get enough credit for acting far less crazy than I actually am.

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