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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

When is someone actually going to change the surprise in the avocado? This hard core is kind of a stupid toy.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2325 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,487

Funny Quotes Topics

15,191

Funny Quotes Images

12,487

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

There should be a zoo that has people from every country in it.

Reported on Twitch:

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Shared recently on Reddit:

When younger I would walk up to the counter and the bartender would know me by name. Now it’s my pharmacist.

Just landed via Slack:

With a lollipop in one hand and a dandelion in the other, concentration is very important, as every summer child knows.

Making waves on Messenger:

I would never be comfortable delivering a baby. I can’t even remove an avocado pit without dropping it.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Spotted on Telegram:

If you are hotter than me, it means I’m cooler than you.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Freshly posted on X:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.
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Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of wanting to understand people but also relishing in the beauty of blissful ignorance! 🤔🤷‍♂️ The mysterious world of human communication, where decoding conversations can feel like deciphering a secret code… or maybe we're just better off not knowing! 😄🔍 #LostInTranslation"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2325 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,487

Funny Quotes Topics

15,191

Funny Quotes Images

12,487

Updated

57 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

People who like sweet potato fries can’t be taken seriously and deserve shame and ridicule.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

According to my chocolate advent calendar, tomorrow is Christmas.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

The prime minister is a minister that is not divisible by any other minister.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I haven’t exaggerated in like a million years.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Going viral on Instagram:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Just landed via Facebook:

Sorry, can’t. Calling NASA and making alien noises.

Trending via Threads:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Going viral on Pinterest:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Spotted on YouTube:

You don’t scare me. You’re not the evil eye I get from my dog when I make him get up from the couch so I can lay down.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Talking to the stars because people suck.

Trending via Reddit:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

Spotted on Messenger:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

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