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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s, you now don’t understand a single word anyone under 25 is saying.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

You can be anything when you grow up. For instance, I am very tired.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Live now on Messenger:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Spotted on Telegram:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

Just landed via Slack:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Just shared via Slack:

I’ve convinced myself bumblebees don’t sting because they’re too fluffy and cute.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Just landed via Telegram:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Broadcasted on X:

Good luck to everyone out there trying to gather enough energy to function this week.

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

2 weeks ago

Funny quote about movie plot holes questioning what happens after death.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like Leatherface might need a few more chainsaws to patch up those plot holes! 🤣 As for the victims, maybe they're in the after-life trying to find a way to give directions to the lost tourists in the Texas backwoods! 🔪👻 #HorrorMovieMysteries

afterlife, chain, Chain Saw, critique, death, die, film, full, hole, horror, horror film, humor, massacre, movie, movie critique, plot, plot hole, saw, Texas, victim

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

14 shares on Twitch this month:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

If you ever have a crush on someone and want it to end, listen to a podcast they are on.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

I disagree with my politics.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

I think my new neighbors are creeps. They seem to be looking into my window every time I’m looking out my window to see what they are doing.

35 shares on YouTube this month:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

93 shares on Twitch this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

17 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is realizing $1000 is little money to have, but a lot to owe.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Now that I’m in my mid-forties, I think I’ll take up parkour.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes it’s the conversations you have with yourself that take the longest.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,313

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Imagine marrying an old man for money and you die first.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Making waves on Telegram:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.

Going viral on YouTube:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

Just shared via Slack:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Seen just now on TikTok:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Breaking via Discord:

Telling men I have a boyfriend doesn’t chase them away anymore, so I’ve started telling them I have a child.

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