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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Here’s the problem with fruit: it’s inconsistent. Some apples are delicious, some taste bad. Sometimes blueberries are great, sometimes they are disgusting. You know what’s the same every time? Doritos.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

As a parent you get to see just how much a baby accomplishes in its first year of life. Because you’re awake for all of it.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I support robot taxis. How else are robots supposed to get around?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,369

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Seen just now on Slack:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Just landed via Instagram:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Making waves on Threads:

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

Spotted on Telegram:

The sexual tension between me and disappearing without an explanation.

Trending via Reddit:

Bro, you gotta try this high-protein Caesar salad, cold brew, air fryer, overnight oats recipe I found on Instagram.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

They should invent a Twitter where the timeline doesn’t refresh against your will.

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

2 months ago

0

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Shoutout to those 60-second authentication codes for turning my everyday life into a high-stakes espionage thriller 🕵️‍♂️💥 Who knew typing in numbers could be so exhilarating? Feeling like a secret agent in my own backyard! 🏡🔒 #LifeOfACodeCracker"

after, authentication, codes, drama, existence, humor, impossible, mission, Mission Impossible, seconds, security, suburban, thank

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

0

2 months ago

humor, moment, motivation, perfect, perfect moment, procrastination, self-improvement, stop, timing, waiting
In my 20s: I’m gonna live forever! In my 40s: uh oh!

0

2 months ago

20s, 40s, aging, forever, humor, life, live, oh, optimism, reality, uh
I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

0

2 months ago

activity, book, bored, entertainment, fun, humor, irony, leisure, read
Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

0

2 months ago

adventure, friendship, good, humor, irony, journey, me, places, stick, still
I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

0

2 months ago

chocolate, doctor, food, holiday, humor, joke, pretty, Santa, stomach, sure
Being alone is my favourite way of being.

0

5 months ago

activity, alone, being, being alone, favorite, favorite activity, favourite, introvert, personal, personal space, self, self time, solitude, space, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

18 shares on Discord this month:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

26 shares on Snapchat this month:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

You’re really hot. Wanna share microplastics?

97 shares on Discord this month:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

63 shares on TikTok this month:

In your 20s and 30s, you’ll start rediscovering the niche interests and hobbies you had as a kid. It’s very important you revisit them. Your younger self was actually on to something.

78 shares on WeChat this month:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

21 shares on Instagram this month:

AI won’t replace me because I’m already useless to society.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

That awesome moment when you open the fridge and the first thing you see is the thing you wanted to eat.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Sitting on the middle seat of this flight and both my seatmates are reading my book over my shoulder. Should I just start reading it aloud?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

We’re all just a bunch of addicts, struggling with our drug of choice.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

Just shared via Instagram:

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

Spotted on Discord:

Sheep to the left of me. Cows to the right. Here I am. Stuck on a bus with a view.

Trending via Instagram:

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Breaking via Pinterest:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

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