17 funny seconds quotes - Wordgag

I’m ready for the exciting last 30 seconds of the basketball game, which stretch into 25 minutes of fouls, time-outs, and commercials.

May 28, 2026

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

May 27, 2026

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

May 27, 2026

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

May 25, 2026

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

May 24, 2026

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

May 23, 2026

I respect perfume commercials being like we can’t show you a smell mind if we just go insane for 30 seconds.

May 23, 2026

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

May 23, 2026

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

May 23, 2026

Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?

May 22, 2026

Thank you two-step authentication codes that expire after 60 seconds for providing Mission Impossible-type drama into my mundane suburban existence.

May 22, 2026

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

May 22, 2026

Just spent a couple seconds concerned about the sounds my stomach was making before realizing it was a motorcycle outside.

May 22, 2026

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

May 21, 2026

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

May 21, 2026

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

May 19, 2026

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Apr 1, 2026