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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

Imagine going to see a situationship in 1868, and you go outside, and your horse is dead as hell.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting to the age where I’m like, “Oh, hopefully I’ll be dead by then.”

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

The real pandemic was when everyone was reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s, the best part of your day is now the heated seats in your car after a long day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Jan 7, 2026

3,229

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Going out for two days in a row should really be considered an extreme sport.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you refuse to let go of.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Every day when I get home, I thank my cats for allowing me to live in their house.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Shared recently on Slack:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Going viral on Messenger:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Breaking via Pinterest:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

2 months ago

0

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Ah, the nerve of someone daring to block your path in the sacred store aisle! 🤨 Don't they know it's your runway to retail bliss? 🛒💁‍♂️ Move aside, mere mortal, the bargain hunter is on a mission! 😆 #ShoppingStruggles"

aisle, audacity, frustration, humor, i, peeve, pet, pet peeve, shopping, someone, store, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Perhaps moths don’t seek the light, but are simply fleeing the darkness.

0

6 months ago

darkness, humor, light, metaphor, moth, perspective, seek, simply
If you say my name three times in the mirror, I show up and kiss you on the forehead.

0

6 months ago

forehead, humor, i, joke, kiss, mirror, name, playful, say, show, superstition, three, times
The best thing capitalism has done is put a little window on pasta boxes so the noodles can look out at the world.

0

2 months ago

best, capitalism, done, food, humor, little, noodles, observation, pasta, perspective, put, thing, window, world
No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

0

2 months ago

applause, behavior, comedy, crowd, entertainment, humor, irony, ovation, people, public, public behavior, sarcastic, situation, social, social situation, standing, standing ovation, start
Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

0

2 months ago

care, comfort, home, humor, i, relaxation, self-acceptance, ugly
The ability to adjust your vocabulary based on who you’re speaking to is a valuable life skill that many people lack.

0

5 months ago

ability, adjustment, communication, lack, life, life skill, people, skill, social, social skill, speaking, vocabulary

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

44 shares on Instagram this month:

If snails are so slow, why don’t we ever see them coming? It’s just BAM, there’s a snail.

58 shares on Reddit this month:

I had a healthy appendix removed, just to show the other organs that I will not tolerate any bullshit.

55 shares on Reddit this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

You wish you had this many chins.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

71 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why is the debate at night time? Let’s get this thing started at 4pm. I don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.

94 shares on Discord this month:

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

89 shares on Threads this month:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sleeping is my drug, my bed is my dealer and my alarm is the police.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a heated but interesting discussion today and they even agreed with me at the end. That’s exactly why I love talking to myself.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Went jogging and came back after five minutes because I forgot something. Forgot I’m out of shape.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has bookmarked:

Daylight savings is just a made up holiday to sell more daylight.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

It’s so hot out, I just hydroplaned off the toilet seat at work.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

“Because my hair is not done” is a very valid reason to decline an outing.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Shared recently on Slack:

“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Getting so tangled in the sex shop bead curtain that they have to put me down like a horse with a broken leg.

Making waves on Instagram:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Trending via Reddit:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Seen just now on Discord:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Just shared via TikTok:

Drivers seem to underestimate how willing I am to get knocked down at a zebra crossing to prove a point.

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