The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

74 shares on WhatsApp this month:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I mean, sex is all right, but have you ever experienced the sheer sensuality of having rock-solid proof that a problem at work was someone else’s fault, even though it really, really looked like it was yours?

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

42 shares on Instagram this month:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just imagine if farting were as contagious as yawning.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

I told my wife the laundry on the couch ain’t gonna fold itself, so if y’all don’t hear from me later, she probably folded me like an omelet.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.