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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Desperately searching the dating app settings for an option to turn down the difficulty level.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Live, laugh, leftovers.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

It’s crazy how genuinely entertaining it is to stare into an open fire. That’s some real epigenetic memory shit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2069 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,231

Funny Quotes Topics

14,975

Funny Quotes Images

12,231

2 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Just shared via Discord:

Me, waiting on an email: What the hell is taking so long, this is ridiculous. Me, sending an email: this can probably wait another three weeks or so.

Live now on TikTok:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Just shared via Instagram:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Going viral on X:

I’m so desperate for a vacation that at this point I’d spend an all inclusive week at Jurassic Park.

Reported on Threads:

I am half agony, half hope.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

6 months ago

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

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Commentary:
Ah, the government's procrastination game is strong, isn't it? 🏛️⏳ Just like the tax deadline sneaking up on us every year! 😂💸 Better late than never, right? At least we're all consistent in our procrastination tendencies!

always, approach, finance, government, humor, last, last minute, minute, much, procrastination, shutdown, ta

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2069 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,231

Funny Quotes Topics

14,975

Funny Quotes Images

12,231

2 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

No, I’m not stressed. I just constantly grind my teeth and clench my jaw for fun.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

People singing Happy Birthday to you feels like a real-life unskippable ad.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

At least I’m part of the generation that at 30 still looks like it’s in its early 20s.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

This is a horrible time in history to be a decent human being.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

People who remember to drink water, what’s that like?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Just shared via YouTube:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Breaking via Discord:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I tried to take a picture of myself in the shower, but my camera kept fogging up. I have selfie steam issues.

Trending via X:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Shared recently on X:

Really looking forward to the day my teenager starts speaking English again.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A friend’s boyfriend is not my friend… that is a coworker, at best.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

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