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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

If someone ghosts you, respect the dead and never disturb them again.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

First date idea: unlock and switch phones with the other person for exactly two minutes and if no one is horrified then the date continues.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

We can do things two ways. My way or the right way.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I’m lacking vitamin c-ash.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

That was pointless, we could’ve just stayed strangers.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

30 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Trending via X:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Making waves on Twitch:

Is ChatGPT my father-in-law because it keeps making stuff up and passing it off as fact?

Trending via Discord:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Trending via Messenger:

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

Shared recently on Twitch:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Broadcasted on X:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

Trending via Pinterest:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Jan 23, 2025

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like Adam and Eve missed out on some creative culinary adventures by not being Chinese! 🐍🍎 Imagine the Garden of Eden with a snake stir-fry instead of the whole "Original Sin" drama – talk about a twist in the tale! Who knows, maybe they would have started a chain of snake-themed restaurants instead of being banished. All in good humor, of course! 🤣🇨🇳

Adam, apple, Chinese, culture, different, eve, food, history, humor, irony, left, snake

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2447 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,609

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,609

30 minutes ago

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Hate how quietly iPhones die. At 5% it should start verbally begging for its life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

At the strip club sighing until one of the dancers asks me what’s wrong.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Defeating imposter syndrome by actually being incompetent.

Just shared via WeChat:

When you’re young, weekends are for fun. When you’re older, they’re for recovery.

Spotted on Facebook:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Just landed via Twitch:

Life can only give you lemons if you answer the door.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Just landed via Reddit:

I personally feel like I have what it takes to become a fossil.

Trending via Twitch:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Trending via Snapchat:

A diamond is forever, and so is my teen’s grudge against me for some random stuff every other day.

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