Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Lord, they down here giving us bills every month after you already paid the price.
  • As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
  • I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.
  • Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.
  • Dudes be named Will but won’t.
  • Being on Twitter right now is like playing the violin on the Titanic, except we are also making fun of the iceberg and the iceberg is getting genuinely mad.