Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Maybe the grass is greener over there because you’re not over there messing it up.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

My dog and I play this game, it’s called “What Are You Chewing On Now?” It goes both ways.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

It’s not ‘drinking alone’ if you’re at work.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Jan 11, 2026

3,570

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Making a grown man kiss his camera on Facetime.

Trending via Messenger:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I can turn wine into water about two hours after drinking it. Checkmate Jesus.

Just landed via Discord:

Neurodivergents will be like, ‘I’m so tired,’ and then refuse to sleep because they haven’t had enough me time after surviving the day.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

Just landed via Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Going viral on Threads:

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

Spotted on Instagram:

Don’t donate your plasma. It’s a big scam, and they’re just using it to make TVs.

Live now on X:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

2 months ago

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the perks of aging gracefully – stumbling into the bushes sober like a true pro! Who knew that growing older would come with such exciting surprises, like letting gravity do all the work for you. Embrace the graceful elegance of becoming one with nature, shrubbery and all!

aging, bushe, drunk, fall, getting, humor, nice, nice thing, older, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

2 months ago

alien, aliens, aspiration, basketball, chance, chances, competition, good, hope, humor, i, making, NBA, scenario, slim, sports, weird, weird scenario
God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

2 months ago

animals, chicken, creation, duck, give, God, humor, kazoo, waterproof
Telemarketer: “Hello, am I speaking to the head of the household?” Me, handing the phone to my cat: “It’s for you.”

2 months ago

am, call, cat, conversation, head, hello, household, humor, i, joke, me, phone, phone call, prank, speaking, telemarketer
Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10 a.m.

3 months ago

am, cool, day, early, fatigue, feeling, humor, long day, morning, relatable, tired, waking, waking up
Seeing a BBL in real life is a reality-altering experience.

6 months ago

BBL, body, body modification, cosmetic, cosmetic surgery, experience, humor, life, modification, real, reality, seeing, surgery, surprise
Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

5 months ago

delete, detox, digital, digital detox, frustration, humor, i, life, media, modern, modern life, phone, relief, river, social, social media, sometimes, stress, stress relief, technology, throw

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Threads this month:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

11 shares on WeChat this month:

Pursuing an academic career is like thinking the stripper loves you.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Farts are just the ghosts of the things we eat.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I see people my age out there climbing mountains and skydiving, and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s time I admit something: Sometimes, when I say good night, I don’t actually go to bed right away.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job ruined my life.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Well, maybe grass should touch me for once. How about that?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a day where it all makes sense.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

298 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,567

Funny Quotes Topics

17,623

Funny Quotes Images

15,567

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,713

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I like to stay grounded by keeping the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If you’re having trouble finding the match to one of your socks, throw it away and the missing one will immediately show up. Follow me for more life hacks.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Going viral on Discord:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Trending via Threads:

I’m looking for insults so intelligent you don’t realize you’ve been roasted until three thoughts later.

Going viral on Discord:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Seen just now on X:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t have a nervous system, I am a nervous system.

Just shared via Facebook:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴