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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If we start dating now, we could be feeding each other deviled eggs on Thanksgiving, and breaking up before we have to exchange gifts for Christmas.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

If you give a man a fish, that fish is basically gone. Way to lose your fish.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The fact that I have a lot of wine in the house proves that I don’t drink much. Otherwise the wine would be gone.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Shared recently on Threads:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve successfully reduced phone time by looking at computer more.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Just landed via Telegram:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Going viral on Reddit:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Trending via WeChat:

Being single is so crazy. What do you mean there’s No One?

Shared recently on Reddit:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Live now on LinkedIn:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

4 days ago

Humorous text about aging featuring a witty remark on falling in bushes without alcohol.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the perks of aging gracefully – stumbling into the bushes sober like a true pro! Who knew that growing older would come with such exciting surprises, like letting gravity do all the work for you. Embrace the graceful elegance of becoming one with nature, shrubbery and all!

aging, bushe, drunk, fall, getting, humor, nice, nice thing, older, thing

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Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on Discord this month:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

47 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

The real me comes out at midnight (it’s just me spending money online).

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Woke up feeling not too shabby for a 60-year-old. The only problem is I’m still in my 40s.

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

100% of all babіes are unemployed. Pathetіc.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

58 shares on TikTok this month:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

75 shares on X this month:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

90 shares on Discord this month:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t give people directions. What if no one wants them there?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have any generational wealth but I did inherit a great spaghetti sauce recipe.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,755

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

My wife is refusing to bring me a beer. That’s it, gonna text her and say “I cannot believe how lazy you are”.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My fantasy is having two men at once. One cooking, one cleaning.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

People just don’t build cities on rock and roll anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Nothing humbles you faster than your phone slipping out of your hand and hitting your face.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Wi-Fi: Your internet connection is unstable. Me: You should see my life.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Trending via Snapchat:

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Spotted on Twitch:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Spotted on Messenger:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Seen just now on Threads:

Nothing I do for money is passion-based. It’s just pure hatred for being broke.

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