Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • I hope the babies I was born with at the hospital are doing good.
  • As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.
  • IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.
  • Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.
  • I like to scan my backyard every hour with a high power flashlight to let my neighbors know I won’t tolerate any weirdness around here.
  • Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.