Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, it's all fun and games until you end up in heaven's customer service line requesting to speak to the manager… 🌥️👼🏼🙅🏻‍♂️ #PerksOfAfterlife"

afterlife, complain, heaven, humor, ID, manager, reason, sarcasm, want

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31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Spell your crush’s name backwards, mine is yenom.

54 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Not again. I mean good morning.

15 shares on Discord this month:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Senility is the pits. Spent an hour driving around the mall parking lot looking for my car.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I totally get why Leonardo DiCaprio is trying to save the environment for future generations. They could be his girlfriend.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

My unemployed neighbor with an unlimited firework budget would like to wish everyone a happy 9th of July.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

“This would be better if there was cake” really does ring true in any situation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

Crying while wearing a backpack has unlocked a new level of humiliation I did not know was possible.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

How do I even know this guy is my “boss”? I’ve just been taking his word for it.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Don’t tell me what to do unless you are naked.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

Making waves on Facebook:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Shared recently on Twitch:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Shared recently on Threads:

I swear the air gets heavier around 6 p.m. on Sundays. You can feel the Microsoft Teams energy approaching.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Abandoned amusement parks are so creepy. It’s no wonder they were abandoned.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

Shared recently on X:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Going viral on Reddit:

Hello, hi. Don’t invite me anywhere until next year. The money is finished. Regards.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Home is where you can say anything because nobody’s really listening, anyway.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Keep the laugh going 😂

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨