Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Well, it's all fun and games until you end up in heaven's customer service line requesting to speak to the manager… 🌥️👼🏼🙅🏻‍♂️ #PerksOfAfterlife"

afterlife, complain, heaven, humor, ID, manager, reason, sarcasm, want

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

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2 months ago

being, focus, humor, job, love, priorities, quitting, relationship, romance
Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

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2 months ago

buzzard, circle, exercise, fitness, humor, i, joke, me, nature, run, should, worry
We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

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3 months ago

addiction, civilization, communication, detox, digital, digital detox, humor, media, need, over, phone, put, social, social media, technology
My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

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2 months ago

ago, delete, full, guess, humor, i, memory, phone, procrastination, second, spiderweb, storage, time, video, year’s
In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

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2 months ago

bed, dance, energy, evening, fun, humor, lunchtime, morning, routine, tired
Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

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4 months ago

bugs, Bugs Bunny, bunny, cartoon, entertainment, humor, introduction, much, music, opera, say

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

A hammock is a terrible place to receive bad news.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting money from the Tooth Fairy is a gateway drug to organ trafficking.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

24 shares on Reddit this month:

Just seen the cost of funerals and no wonder people are living longer.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Explaining myself is too much work. Please just judge me.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I’ve disappointed better people.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

Making waves on X:

What is Washington’s plan to make everything bagels less messy to eat?

Going viral on Twitch:

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

Making waves on Discord:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Live now on LinkedIn:

With my staggering 91% survival rate, you’d be a fool to hire another dog sitter.

Trending via TikTok:

Would have started saving money in kindergarten if I knew my life was like this.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

Live now on TikTok:

You can tell a lot about someone by the stuff you make up in your head about them.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Should I be worried that buzzards circle me when I go for a run?

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨