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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

Gonna mess with my husband by texting “send nudes” when he’s in a work meeting.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Having a girlfriend who doesn’t post herself on social media is an underrated blessing.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Ironic that the two ơ’s in “cooperate” insist on having their own separate sounds.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

How is rent for 28 days the same amount as for 31 days? Where is my change?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Facebook:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Spotted on Telegram:

The goal is to make your therapist cry.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Just shared via TikTok:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hanging out with your parents as an adult is so interesting, cause it’s like, “Oh, so that’s why I’m like this.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Making waves on YouTube:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

Trending via Twitch:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Just shared via Twitch:

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

The person who invented butter really understood humans.

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The person who invented butter really understood humans.
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Commentary:
Absolutely! 🧈🤔 It's like they said, "Humans gonna human, might as well give 'em butter!" 🙌😄 After all, who can resist the creamy, melt-in-your-mouth goodness of butter? 🤤 Thank you, butter inventor, for truly understanding our buttery desires! 🥳👏

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

91 shares on X this month:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever crawled out of the worst depression of your life and got your spark back?

73 shares on Telegram this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

88 shares on TikTok this month:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

70 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

Who develops the algorithm? I want to speak to the manager.

53 shares on Pinterest this month:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Talents: eating!

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You’d think someone in the room would’ve spoken up like “hey guys, maybe it’s a bad idea to make one ring to rule them all”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I know how to use an abacus as a tambourine.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,257

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just needed help getting out of my skinny jeans.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Putting away the Christmas tree. Sad day for cats.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If I would’ve known that you were going to ask me what I was thinking, I wouldn’t have been thinking what I was thinking.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

You should be able to google what someone said to you at the bar last night.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Making waves on WeChat:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Going bananas on TikTok:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Freshly posted on Discord:

When I’m dying, please rush me to the nearest haunted house. I don’t want to haunt a shitty apartment by myself.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Going viral on WeChat:

Bands who can’t afford a smoke machine should hire my wife to cook at their concert.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Going viral on Reddit:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Just landed via Snapchat:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Freshly posted on Discord:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

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