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Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

For once, I would just like to underthink a situation. How do you guys do that?

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

My trauma is between me and this bartender. The rest of you, mind your business.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Chocolate doesn’t ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Instagram:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Nasa is launching a satellite to say sorry to the aliens. They’re calling it the Apollo G.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

It’s true that I’ve been through the desert on a horse with no name, but for my return trip, I rented a camel named Carl.

Spotted on YouTube:

Parents be like “why aren’t you eating, don’t you like my food?” and after you eat a ton, they’ll say “you look a little chubby, maybe you should eat less.”

Freshly posted on Slack:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Making waves on TikTok:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Praying to God with a Chinese accent, and he is cracking up.

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

2 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about a persistent mosquito mistaking bites for a wine tasting.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like that mosquito has some fancy taste buds! 🍷🦟 Must have been looking for a more refined blood type! 😂"

annoyance, biting, humor, last, me, mosquito, night, same, tasting, thought, wine

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Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

So I just checked my bank account, and it looks like for Christmas I am getting everyone the thought that counts.

100 shares on YouTube this month:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

27 shares on Telegram this month:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

What if they close grocery stores and we have to hunt for our food? I don’t even know where the little gummy bears live.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

Jewelry stores should just be like: Whether you’re trying to be nice or trying to get laid, we got you covered.

77 shares on Threads this month:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I now feel I’ve watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I’ll be able to successfully make it in prison.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Being weird never goes out of style.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

My ducks are not even remotely in a row. My ducks are in places no duck has ever gone before.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Definitely thought I’d be solving mysteries and unmasking ghosts in a van with a dog by this point in my life.

Trending via Reddit:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Spotted on Slack:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Just shared via Facebook:

I cannot definitively say, even after all I’ve seen, that I would not visit Jurassic Park.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

People say, “Listen to your heart, do the right thing,” like they are the same things.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

“Are you single?” No, I’m in a hallucinationship.

Shared recently on Instagram:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

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Activity Log ✨

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨