Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but my children already knew everything I told them today.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

How great is it to do absolutely nothing and follow it up by taking a rest.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My greatest joy in life is when a friend reads a book I recommend. My greatest frustration in life is when they don’t read it fast enough.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,781

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Stretching isn’t enough. I need to be able to disassemble my body like Legos.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

Making waves on Discord:

Not wearing glasses anymore, I’ve seen enough.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I had no social life in high school. Even my imaginary best friend had a date for the prom.

Live now on WeChat:

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the stereo in your car to see better.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Going bananas on TikTok:

All these microplastics in me could at least do some repair work to my knees and back while they’re in there.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seems like that mosquito has some fancy taste buds! 🍷🦟 Must have been looking for a more refined blood type! 😂"

annoyance, biting, humor, last, me, mosquito, night, same, tasting, thought, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, communication, every, first time, humor, i, self-awareness, sounds, speak, talk, time, trying
People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

0

1 month ago

before, breakfast, cook, cooking, going, humor, mature, maturity, me, morning, morning routine, people, routine, too, work
If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

0

4 weeks ago

advice, celebration, conflict, family, fighting, holiday, humor, live, relationship, survival, Thanksgiving
These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

0

2 months ago

accept, acceptance, comparison, cooky, days, family, fight, grandma, humor, i, just, protest, technology, website
You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

0

1 month ago

age-related, aging, barber, ears, getting, grooming, hair, head, humor, joke, less, old, tell, time, top
Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

0

2 months ago

bodega, exactly, humor, likes, misunderstanding, owner, perception, relationship, same, stripper, thinking

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on X this month:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

69 shares on Telegram this month:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

63 shares on Reddit this month:

20s: LOL! 30s: OMG! 40s: WTF!

12 shares on X this month:

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

92 shares on Slack this month:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

27 shares on Telegram this month:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Have you ever been sitting around overthinking about overthinking, and then wonder why you’re even thinking that?

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can’t be the only person who thinks the presidential debate should be performed as a rap battle.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Typing in your email address on the TV is a different type of irritation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Work from home ain’t for everyone. I, for one, hate when my coworkers try to message when I’m shopping.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m not like other girls. I don’t have a podcast.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Getting a lawn sign so people know what I think today.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Don’t ask me why, but the older you get, the more you love coffee.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Sharks are orcs, dolphins are elves.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Going viral on X:

Need a dimly lit cocktail date with a gaze so lustful it causes God to draft up another sin.

Going viral on WeChat:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Just shared via Facebook:

I delete posts cause I be getting mature over the hours.

Trending via Messenger:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

Breaking via Twitch:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Trending via Threads:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

Making waves on Reddit:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

At a job interview: think of me as the rightful heir to the throne.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

If your family starts fighting on Thanksgiving, go live.

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Thinking the bodega owner likes you is exactly the same as thinking the stripper likes you.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨