The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

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By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

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Every time I have to repeat myself, a new curse word gets added into the sentence.

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I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

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Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

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I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

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What I’m trying to say is, “Hello, here’s my entire heart and all of my devotion.”

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Can’t argue with a guy that has curly hair. Whatever you say, gorgeous.

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When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

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I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Life is pretty much just a series of awkward and embarrassing moments, separated by snacks.