The same mosquito kept biting me last night. It probably thought it was at a wine tasting.

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The first people who called chocolate a vegetable are the real heroes.

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As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

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Being loved right feels like telepathy and a little bit of witchcraft.

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What doesn’t kill you makes you weird at intimacy.

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Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy.

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I’m eating sandwiches you haven’t heard of in jeans you can’t pronounce.

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All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

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The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

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Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

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Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.