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Commentary:
Looks like that sandwich decided to pull a disappearing act faster than you can say "Abracadabra"! 🥪🎩 Maybe it's off pursuing its dreams of becoming a snack magician! 🧙‍♂️✨ Better luck next time! 😄

10am, eating, even, food, humor, i, lunch, meal, sandwich, snack

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

0

5 months ago

delete, humor, i, media, online, online post, patience, post, procrastination, social, social media
Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

0

3 weeks ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

0

2 months ago

drug, gambling, life, motivation, people
Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

0

2 months ago

argument, avoid, communication, enough, face, function, humor, husband, i, marriage, mouth, relationship, shut, subtitle
I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

0

2 months ago

alone, box, break, break room, donut, donuts, food, humor, i, indulgence, person, room, temptation, workplace
Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

0

2 months ago

brag, childless, humor, life, life situation, situation, time

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

62 shares on Facebook this month:

Being in love will have you put your pride aside and go to places you never thought you would, like New Jersey.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If food delivery apps had never been invented, I would either be wildly rich or dead.

92 shares on Discord this month:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

31 shares on Discord this month:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

16 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

14 shares on Slack this month:

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

89 shares on X this month:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Does anyone else run a used match under water before disposing of it because you’re afraid it still has some fire left in it, or are you normal?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Going viral on Instagram:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

Seen just now on Reddit:

We all have that person who insists on using a blanket on the couch, no matter the weather.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Carrying a baby for nine months and then naming it Chet is insane.

Making waves on Reddit:

At this point of my celibacy, I can see the same colors as mantis shrimp. What do you know about blorange and gurple?

Just landed via Twitch:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If it doesn’t get a like in the first two years, I delete it.

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

I don’t like the person I become when I’m alone in the break room with a box of donuts.

Not to brag, but what a time to be childless.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨