Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Sometimes I think I’m too old to make a career change. But then I remember how Walter White went from high school teacher to drug kingpin. Anything is possible!
  • I never feel more alone than when I’m trying to put sunscreen on my back.
  • Can I be speaker? I’m pretty good at saying a lot without saying anything at all.
  • Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.
  • I’m not into casual sex. Send me a résumé.
  • Born to be a Jedi spinning a lightsaber, forced to work full-time and pay rent.