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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Many of you need to put “lighten up” on your resolutions list.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Parents be like “don’t believe everything you see on the internet” then believe everything they see on Facebook.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

It’s okay, facial recognition. I don’t recognize myself anymore either.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

Three wise men? I highly doubt that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

Women don’t apologize. They sleep naked and let you decide whether you are still angry or not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Jan 6, 2026

3,699

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Microdosing hell by checking the web every day.

Just landed via Reddit:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

Going viral on Threads:

The sheer audacity of life to ask anything of me today.

Spotted on YouTube:

There’s endless songs out there about love and pain and life, but basically only one about the wheels on the bus. Just goes to show you they nailed it the first try.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m a people pleaser, unless you don’t like that. Then I’m not.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Is ‘ugh’ an emotion? Because I fell it all the time.

Making waves on Twitch:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Shared recently on Telegram:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

2 months ago

0

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone's been taking tips from the one and only Road Runner 🏃‍♂️🎨🚙! Nothing like a little creativity to outsmart the Secret Service, eh? Just be careful not to drop any anvils on their heads next time 😉💥.

cartoon, chasing, escape, humor, i, me, paint, prank, secret, Secret Service, service, side, tunnel, wall

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

0

2 months ago

always, autumn, beverage, coming, cozy, forget, forgetfulness, habits, hot, hot beverage, i, myself, seasonal, seasonal habits, self-care, tea, time, winter
Shout out to all you people out there who get asked if you’re okay a lot even though that’s the only facial expression you have.

0

2 months ago

asked, emotions, even, expression, facial, facial expression, feelings, humor, lot, okay, people, relatable, shout, shout out
Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

0

5 months ago

advice, again, avoidance, ever, health, humor, just, mental, mental health, procrastination, thinking, tried
Americans saw water freeze at 0°C and said, “Let’s make that 32.”

0

5 months ago

American, Americans, Celsius, conversion, Fahrenheit, freeze, humor, joke, measurement, said, saw, system, temperature, unit, unit system, water
Most of your problems emanate from assuming that you are intelligent. Ease into your stupidity, and be free.

0

5 months ago

ease, free, freedom, humor, intelligence, intelligent, most, problem, problems, self-awareness, stupidity
Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

0

2 months ago

court, custody, divorce, elections, feel, humor, politics, society, us, waiting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Messenger this month:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

32 shares on Facebook this month:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m never early… unless we’re talking about the airport.

15 shares on Discord this month:

Relationships are actually easy when you’re not dating a lying weirdo.

97 shares on Slack this month:

Prison pen pal doesn’t want us to write each other anymore. Finds my life too depressing.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I might not put the sparkle in your eyes, but I’ll definitely put the “WTF” wrinkles in your forehead.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

49 shares on Twitch this month:

The amount of family secrets you uncover as you get older is wild.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Jackie Chan used to say “I don’t want trouble“ and then break everybody’s legs.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You can chill with someone a whole day at the university, and never see them again in your life, lol.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Rather than work on my issues, I’m counting on my personality getting changed by a falling coconut.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Spreading quickly via X:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I hate that I present as an independent woman who doesn’t need any help. It’s a facade. Help me.

Trending via Pinterest:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Live now on Messenger:

I wonder if this is all happening because I opened that umbrella inside.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I’ll eventually be able to get back in it.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m so tired of not being a multimillionaire.

Just landed via YouTube:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Making waves on YouTube:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

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