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Looks like someone's been taking tips from the one and only Road Runner 🏃‍♂️🎨🚙! Nothing like a little creativity to outsmart the Secret Service, eh? Just be careful not to drop any anvils on their heads next time 😉💥.

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

1 month ago
confidence, conversation, dating, DM, flirt, humor, man, media, real, social, social media, timeline
I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

1 month ago
am, ban, books, borrow, calling, humor, i, irony, library, lost, need, public, reading
Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

1 month ago
again, blink, calendar, every, frustration, humor, i, live, loop, Monday, monotony, repetition, routine, time, time loop, weekly, weekly routine
Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

5 months ago
app, apps, date, dating, dating app, delete, deleting, department, hr, HR department, humor, meet, old fashioned, relationship, someone, workplace
Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

1 month ago
diagnose, doctor, doctors, future, humor, marriage, me, relationship, wife
Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

1 month ago
accountability, blame, blaming, everyone, everything, hate, humor, irony, person, pick, problems, responsibility, sarcasm, stop

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

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Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

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Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

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That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

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McDonald’s only giving me 9 Chicken Nuggets instead of 10 is how my villain origin story began.

Going viral on Reddit:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

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The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

If A-B-C-D didn’t take their sweet time in the alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to sprint every time.

I hate that moment when you are tired and sleepy but as soon as you go to bed your body is like “just kidding.”

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early, if you ask me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

When my friends and I talk about sex, it’s never sexual. It feels scientific, almost.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

It’s weird how the UFO’s always seem to crash in places that only the government and military have access to.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

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The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

A DM? Flirt on the timeline like a real man.

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Every time I blink, it’s Monday again. I can’t live like this.

Deleting dating apps to meet someone the old-fashioned way (in the HR department).

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

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