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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Forget Botox. If you really want to look younger, get braces.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

If you are influenced by influencers, you’re beyond retarded.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

Whoever named rice cakes is probably also responsible for Paris, Texas.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Apparently, it’s rude to poke someone in the forehead and yell “Skip Intro” when they start talking to you.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,508

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Trending via Discord:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Spotted on Telegram:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

Just shared via Telegram:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you’re looking for another bad decision, I’m here.

Making waves on Snapchat:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Making waves on Discord:

Watching Unsolved Mysteries and getting mad when they don’t solve the mystery at the end.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like the universe is mostly made up of morons 😜🌌 Better watch out for those cosmic clowns!

electrons, humor, intelligence, joke, moron, neutrons, physics, protons, science, universe

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

2 months ago

family, horror, humor, legacy, lineage, lore
My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

2 months ago

background, background noise, entertainment, hobby, humor, i, multitasking, noise, phone, scroll, scrolling, TV, using, while
I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

2 months ago

body, body image, clothes, eat, food, humor, image, lucky, lucky person, people, person, put, self-deprecation, want, whatever
“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

3 months ago

cooking, ever, humor, internet, jump, recipe, shortcut, technology, teleportation, well
It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

2 weeks ago

buy, buying, buying decision, decision, humor, i, Labubu, least, reflection, tough, tough year, year
Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

2 months ago

communication, confusion, direct, direct signals, good, humor, i, luck, me, mixed, mixed signals, relationships, sarcasm, signals, time, understanding

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Slack this month:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

74 shares on X this month:

Relationship status: my last pickpocket had really gentle hands.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

93 shares on Threads this month:

Hey, wanna intertwine delusions and make them a reality or nah?

13 shares on YouTube this month:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

72 shares on Messenger this month:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

28 shares on Slack this month:

Them: Money doesn’t bring happiness. Me: Pass the money over here, I like to be sad.

80 shares on Twitch this month:

I found a box of VHS tapes. I’m a bit nervous about the one that has the label torn off.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Remember when Mustangs were muscle cars and not an embarrassment to the name.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

You are what you eat! (If anyone needed more encouragement to eat the rich.)

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

When a door closes in life, sometimes it’s better to grab a hammer and nails and make sure the damn thing stays shut.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I avoid clarified butter because I prefer my dairy products to be troubled and confused.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Major cheat code in life: ask for the big, unreasonable thing. The universe meets you at your level of audacity.

Live now on Threads:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Trending via Pinterest:

Witnessing karma is awesome . . . witnessing instant karma is more awesome.

Just shared via Telegram:

My only goal in life is to never end up on a Netflix documentary.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Going viral on Facebook:

I bought a “How to Be Spontaneous” course… it starts in six months.

Seen just now on Twitch:

My dream car is a taco truck.

Going viral on WeChat:

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons, and 85% morons.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

I’m one of those lucky people that can eat whatever they want and not put on any clothes.

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨