Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Either the tables are going to turn, or I’m going to flip them.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

When I worked as a restaurant critic, I wrote under a nom nom nom de plume.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

The money I made gradually, you need urgently?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

The Bachelor is like “Meet Savannah from Brooklyn, Madison from Savannah, Brooklyn from Madison”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Every Stranger Things scene is just a guy in a wig being like, ‘We have to stop them.’

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a break after sending one email.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

If life was a video game, right now would be the time where I randomly press buttons because I don’t know what to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Going viral on Instagram:

Of course I intermittently fast. That’s when I sleep.

Just landed via Telegram:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Just shared via Twitch:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Have you guys heard of recency bias? I hadn’t, but now I’m seeing it literally everywhere. Must be a big deal.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Spotted on WeChat:

Making a cult with only intuitive introverts so we can all sit in silence, side-eyeing each other suspiciously.

Breaking via Slack:

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Seeing double when you're drunk can be confusing, but realizing it's just one pizza slice is a cheesy letdown! 🍕🍕 #PizzaPartyFoul"

being, double, double vision, drunk, food, humor, joke, just, pizza, realization, realize, seeing, slice, vision, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

0

4 months ago

bad, breakup, ex, girlfriend, humor, i, idiot, idiots, jealousy, life, love, love life, new, new relationship, relationship, sarcasm, smiling, somewhere, telling, thinking
Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

0

2 months ago

accident, distraction, food, humor, i, jelly, mean, media, mistake, phone, social, social media, tweet
Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

0

2 months ago

beverage, branding, cute, exactly, girls, humor, inventor, inventors, lemonade, pink, pink lemonade, playful, same, yes
Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, before, business, entrepreneur, every, humor, i, night, nights, own, run, small, small business, stress, suffer, Sunday, Sunday night, work
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

0

2 months ago

before, fake, fake tan, funny moment, glasses, humor, husband, marriage, moment, tan, teeth
Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

0

2 months ago

behavior, electricity, empowerment, ever, fork, humor, i, irony, risky, risky behavior, socket, time, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Me to HR: Okay, but you have to admit that was funny.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I’m camping, I won’t be covered.

38 shares on Twitch this month:

When I’m on hold and the song ends, I always expect someone to pick up the phone.

31 shares on X this month:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

44 shares on X this month:

Not to brag but I am evidence of things unseen.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

It’s crazy that things have got to a point where you can say, “Jurassic Park 3 is one of the better movies in the series.”

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

USPS tracking: Step 1: We don’t think it exists. Step 2: Delivered.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Checked myself, but unfortunately, after I wrecked myself.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I received a bank alert text for suspicious activity. I was buying fruit.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Spotted on Slack:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Spotted on Discord:

To save money, you really just gotta stay at home.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Going viral on Twitch:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Shared recently on Threads:

My spirit animal is that one bird that knocks itself unconscious, flying into windows.

Shared recently on Twitch:

You give my middle finger an erection.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If I was an elephant, you’d all be sorry.

Going viral on X:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Just landed via Instagram:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

Inventor of pink lemonade: yes, exactly the same, but cute and for the girls.

Before I started my own business, I would suffer from anxiety on Sunday nights. But now that I run my own business, I have anxiety every night.

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨