BRIGHTON—Following a groundbreaking study, therapists across the nation are recommending patients sprint away from their emotional baggage. “It’s a win-win,” said Dr. Lisa Hargrave, noting that fleeing from feelings can burn 200 calories an hour. “Why face problems when you can outpace them?”

Local jogger Tom Atkins shared his enthusiasm: “I’ve lost 15 pounds and 2 emotional crises since I started running. It’s like therapy, but with more sweat and fewer tears.”

Amid growing interest, athletic stores report a surge in demand for running shoes. “We’ve sold out of our ‘Emotion Evaders’ collection,” confirmed Nike representative Carl Trent. Trend analysts predict next year’s fitness craze: crying at the gym, where individuals can bench-press grief while donning waterproof mascara.