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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Best friends should be able to apply to jobs together and get hired as a set.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

I’ve decided that I need to eat more vegetables, so I’m gonna make a carrot cake later.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

“What do your tattoos mean?” They mean I can sit still for a long time.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

Just landed via Discord:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Trending via Reddit:

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Spotted on X:

It’s so embarrassing when you make a silly face at a baby, and they do not care at all.

Breaking via Discord:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

When Dr. Seuss wrote, “Oh, The Places You’ll Go,” he did not consider how comfortable my couch would be.

Live now on YouTube:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Just shared via Slack:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

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There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.
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Commentary:
Ah, the great microwave Olympics of December 26th! 🏆🍿 It's the one day when microwaves around the world get to show off their reheating skills and popcorn-popping prowess. Let the games begin! 🍕🍿🍪 #MicrowaveOlympics

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Can’t wait for the day off from work so I can sit on the couch at home and stare at the TV screen while thinking about work.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

The lion is starting to concern himself with things he’s been trying to ignore.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I always ask for a receipt so I can keep them in my purse for 86 years.

35 shares on Telegram this month:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

67 shares on Discord this month:

The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless, and to humor the disturbed.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My teen being nice to me is getting really expensive.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I would rather lose you than the argument.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My sex face is the same as my first pee in three hours face.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,257

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Unfortunately, I don’t give ugly men a chance, because they wouldn’t give me one if I were the ugly one.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

Sometimes, in the middle of eating a rotisserie chicken, I ask myself “did I just run a red light?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If my family starts talking politics at Thanksgiving, I’m changing the subject by announcing I’m pregnant.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Making waves on Reddit:

Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

Just shared via Messenger:

I don’t question my wife’s choices because I’m one of them.

Just shared via WeChat:

I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

Spotted on Discord:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Aging isn’t even 1% as scary as whatever is going on with the people trying not to.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I will marry a man who treats me delicately as if I’m a gift straight from heaven.

Going viral on Facebook:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

Making waves on Threads:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

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