17 funny microwave quotes - Wordgag

Microwaves have zero chill. We get it, time is up. Calm down.

May 19, 2026

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

May 18, 2026

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

May 18, 2026

I always stop the microwave before it beeps because it’s not the boss of me.

Apr 1, 2026

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Apr 1, 2026

The day after Christmas is a dangerous morning to be a microwave.

Apr 1, 2026

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Mar 31, 2026

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Mar 31, 2026

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Mar 30, 2026

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Mar 30, 2026

There is no bigger day for microwaves than the 26th day of December. This is their Olympics.

Mar 27, 2026

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Mar 26, 2026

Shuffling into the kitchen in a robe Sunday morning to change the clock on the microwave is the lamest form of time travel ever.

Mar 25, 2026

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Mar 25, 2026

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Mar 24, 2026

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Mar 24, 2026

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave.

Mar 23, 2026