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Commentary:
🦈🚔 "Breaking news: Sharky McSharkface, the notorious underwater menace, has finally been apprehended! Looks like he won't be 'sea'ing the light of day for a while! 🦈⛓️ #SharkBehindBars"

arrested, comedy, crimes, humor, jail, Jaws, movie, sequel, shark, should, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

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2 months ago

advice, cream, dinner, freedom, fun, ice, ice cream, indulgence, nobody, self, stop, tell, younger, younger self
When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

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2 months ago

humor, i, ninja, phone, reaction, someone, stealth, surprise, technology, touch, turn
When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

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2 months ago

birth, born, chuck, Chuck Norris, doctor, humor, joke, norris, slap, toughness
I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

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2 months ago

boat, comedy, dead, dead to me, guest, guest star, humor, i, irritation, love, me, relationships, sarcasm, show, star, The Love Boat, TV, TV Show, wake, wake up, woke
My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

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3 months ago

again, career, experience, hope, humor, i, job, just, list, never, resume, task, things, work
On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

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2 months ago

end, entertainment, getting, humor, i, irony, know, movie, nostalgia, observation, over, people, put, remember, screen, smart, smarter, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

41 shares on Telegram this month:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

I googled my symptoms, and I just need a day with you in the mountains.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

80 shares on Discord this month:

screenshotting people’s close friends and posting it directly to my own story.

59 shares on Discord this month:

Nike: Just Do It! Me: I don’t want to.

43 shares on Pinterest this month:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

65 shares on Facebook this month:

My husband was unable to find his coat earlier as he’d accidentally hung it up.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

Being an adult feels like, “If I can just get through this week, I’ll be okay,” but it’s every damn week.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

If you’re doing Dry January, please, please, keep it to yourself. Nobody cares, and you’re probably even more boring without alcohol.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

This Christmas, get her the gift that’ll last a lifetime. Give her a tortoise.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Got too drunk in the Vietnamese restaurant last night, they said I can never go back. They banh mi.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe the clouds, trees, and flowers love looking at you too.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

It’s that time of year where every jacket you choose is wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Just shared via Facebook:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Happy new fear!

Just shared via LinkedIn:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People who cook breakfast before going to work are too mature for me.

Making waves on Messenger:

The only squat I’m even considering doing today is diddly.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

I was guest-starring on The Love Boat when you woke me up. You’re dead to me.

My résumé is really just a list of things I hope I never have to do again.

On the whole, people are getting smarter. I remember when they had to put “The End” on the screen, so people would know the movie was over.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨