Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Not gonna lie, I just assume everyone is AI now.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

When I hear the word “horror”, the first thing I think of is bills, not Halloween.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

If you love a friend, let them go. If they come back with coffee, it was meant to be.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Gender and sexuality aside, I believe everyone just wants someone who wears short shorts and makes a lot of noise in bed.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

Nothing in a household is said more lovingly than, “Can you bring me some toilet paper?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Jan 7, 2026

3,291

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Seen just now on TikTok:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Going bananas on YouTube:

“A healthy lifestyle is all about balance,” I say as I drive through Taco Bell after working out.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Just shared via YouTube:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Sorry for how I acted when there were multiple noises happening at the same time.

Seen just now on X:

My mom didn’t raise a fool. Possibly a psycho, but never a fool.

Trending via WeChat:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

Just shared via Slack:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so make sure you tell bad people they’re bad.

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

2 months ago

0

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the mighty admin of the village Facebook group – wielding power like a knight of old, but with more memes and less swordsmanship 🤣👑📱 They say with great power comes great responsibility, but sometimes it just leads to some epic online banter and maybe a rivalry with the neighboring town's social media czar! #PowerHungryAdmin #VillageDrama

admin, authority, drunk, Facebook, group, humor, power, village

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

0

2 months ago

comedy, humor, jehovah’s, Jehovah’s Witness, jokes, knock, knock knock, religion, tell, witness, witnesses, worst
I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

0

2 months ago

cinema, days, days off, desire, entertainment, feast, five, fun, high, i, laptop, relaxation, return, row, too, where, work
If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

0

2 months ago

comedy, fun, humor, i, joke, jokes, laugh, self-deprecation
They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

0

2 months ago

humor, money, problems, sarcasm, solve, wealth
How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

0

2 months ago

call, comic, Deadpoodle, Deadpool, dog, Dogpool, humor, joke, pun, right
Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

0

2 months ago

ago, apartment, days, disappearance, done, door, event, gone, humor, ignored, ignoring, mystery, small, small door, three, unexpected, unexpected event

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on X this month:

Dance like nobody’s watching, except God, the NSA, and Santa Claus.

80 shares on Messenger this month:

I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t forget to have an orgasm today. Partner is optional. Pleasure is not.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

Please respond to the messages I almost sent you.

13 shares on Twitch this month:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

79 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes you have to sit back and imagine what life could be if it wasn’t a horrifying nightmare.

74 shares on Threads this month:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

29 shares on WeChat this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m the kind of introvert who dodges phone calls but sends paragraphs in texts.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Is 27 a good age to leave everything you know and love, and start over?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

239 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,508

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,508

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,504

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

Forget Spotify Wrapped. I’m more interested in seeing your Pornhub Wrapped.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

I love when people start getting filler, and instead of looking younger, it’s just like okay, your face is getting really, really big in all directions.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Trending via Telegram:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

A big part of my wife’s cardio routine is rolling away from me in bed.

Just landed via X:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Live now on Snapchat:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Seen just now on X:

Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴