They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

52 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

An article of clothing left on the floor long enough becomes clean again because the germs eventually get bored and leave.

92 shares on Instagram this month:

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

We don’t get a song of the summer this year because we were bad.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.