Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • Airport security asked me if I’ve seen anything unusual. I just paid $18 for a coke & a sandwich. Let’s start with that.
  • I need to start hiding my money from myself.
  • Arguing through text will have you standing in one spot for 40 mins.
  • My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.
  • If you see me out in public but we haven’t talked since high school, let’s keep it that way.
  • A weighted blanket isn’t enough today, I need to be compressed into a zip-file.