Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
Oh, the irony! 🤣 It seems like someone needs to reassure their health insurance that they are, indeed, healthy! Maybe we should all just carry around a "I promise not to get sick" card instead! 💪🏥 #HealthInsuranceFail

health, health insurance, humor, insurance, invention, irony, should, wellness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

0

5 months ago

beach, body, casual, confidence, humor, self-deprecating, summer, vacation
I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

0

2 months ago

back, brag, expensive, expensive trip, grocery, grocery store, humor, i, just, sarcasm, shopping, store, travel, trip
99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

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2 months ago

adult, back, birthday, celebration, gratitude, humor, interaction, just, social, social interaction, texting, thanks
Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

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2 months ago

adulting, bed, being, different, excited, excitement, humor, level, life, life stages, relaxation, responsibility, sleep, stages
I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

0

6 days ago

chores, cleaning, coming, hour, house, humor, i, just, less, maid, me, motivation, need, once, panic-cleaning, procrastination, someone, tell, visit, visitor, week
My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

0

2 months ago

activity, favorite, fun, glad, humor, involvement, just, position, relationship, sex

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

22 shares on Reddit this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

64 shares on X this month:

Me to alien: I, too, try to live among people undetected.

50 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s getting slide guitar and harmonica hot outside.

61 shares on Slack this month:

The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Calm yourself, Lucifer. You did the right thing coming to me for advice.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The best part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work. The worst part of being a bomb technician is that you can never have a bad day at work.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Scrolling should count as cardio.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Toddlers be like, we can do this the hard way or the harder way.

Trending via Threads:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Going viral on Twitch:

Her idea of a romantic setting is one that has a diamond in it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I love the smell of someone burning their last bridge with me.

Going viral on TikTok:

So crazy to just be living every day through the slow-motion car crash of escalating fascism, and it’s still like, “Aww, man, I have to go to the dentist.”

Spotted on Slack:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Honey, get in the car. We have to go to the store because we’re retarded, and it’s Christmas Eve.

Seen just now on Discord:

You’re all badass until that dust bunny in the corner is a real spider.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

I don’t need a maid. I just need someone to tell me once a week that they’re coming to visit, and I’ll panic-clean my entire house in less than an hour.

My favorite sex position is any of them. I’m just glad to be involved.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨