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Oh, the irony! 🤣 It seems like someone needs to reassure their health insurance that they are, indeed, healthy! Maybe we should all just carry around a "I promise not to get sick" card instead! 💪🏥 #HealthInsuranceFail

health, health insurance, humor, insurance, invention, irony, should, wellness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

1 month ago
activity, beekeeping, creativity, fun, fun activity, hardest, hardest part, humor, names, thinking
Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

1 month ago
breaking, breaking news, check, confidence, humor, interesting, less, news, perspective, reality, reality check, self-perception, think
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

4 months ago
bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, everything, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, motivation, reason, sometimes, stupid, stupidity
Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

1 month ago
animal, barn, biannual, cleaning, dental, humor, hygiene, just, teeth
I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

1 month ago
confidence, eating, enjoying, enjoying life, feels, having, hope, humor, i, independence, irony, life, me, myself, nobody, positivity, self-love, solitude, sorry, time
I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

2 months ago
backyard, celebration, cleaning, family, finished, holiday, house, humor, i, just, looking, Thanksgiving, Thursday

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

It ain’t easy being America’s sweetheart during these dark times, but someone gotta do it!

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I’m letting go of all earthly attachment — exactly like Buddha, except for the things I like and want.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You can never really “own” earbuds. You just have to appreciate the time you had together.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

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Trending via Discord:

Job posting: $15/hr for master’s degree. Burrito menu: $23 for bean and cheese burrito.

Just landed via WeChat:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

There should be a special rating system for movies that tells you how uncomfortable you’ll be if you watch them with your parents.

Spotted on Twitch:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Just came back from my walk, and I was right about everything.

Just shared via YouTube:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

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Activity Log ✨

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

The best piece of dating advice I’ve ever received is “If they like you, you’ll know. If they don’t, you’ll be confused.” Honestly, it’s all you need to know.

Not just anyone can be cremated. You have to urn it.

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

Signing all emails with BOOM SHAKALAKA today.

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

You ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

I speak my mind, cause it hurts when I bite my tongue.

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Sneaking up behind people and marrying them.

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They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

I hope nobody sees me eating by myself and feels sorry for me. I’m having the time of my life.

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

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